Warden Commander's Guide to Joinings, Blights, and Love
by DesiCat
Summary: Neria Surana is an ambitious Warden Commander. She wants to end all blights, reduce Joining causalities, falling in love is optional. She is constantly stressed by the many events that take her away from her goals, she does eventually find rest. Rate M for perverted jokes, mentions of rape, and sexually themes.
1. Chapter 1

I course I don't own dragon age. Just have some weird thoughts about it.

So I noticed that my first chapter missed a fight scene I intended. So here is the fix, I also made some other slight changes, cause might as well.

Neria was annoyed. King Alistair kept sending her letters, and she had to keep reading them. The Warden Commander couldn't quite ignore his awkward highness. The midst of apologies and being lovers would be fine now that he thought of it, were useful tidbits on nobles, resources, and trading routes his spy network uncovered. This one was not useful. It was particularly detailed, reminiscing on how his elfy mage (seriously elfy?) accidentally shocked him and he kicked the tent down on them. He forgot the bit on how Zevran tried to "save" them...naked. Surana giggled, deciding that she should write Zev a letter.

Filing it away, she moved to the courtyard, or the temporary training grounds. Velanna had originally expressed how disgusted that she, a mage, had to learn how to use a "regular" weapons. Here she was swinging a maul at an unfortunate new grey warden, cackling uncontrollably.

Justice came up to her, handing her a sword and shield. "Ready?"

"Are you supposed to ask?" The animated corpse responded by shield bashing her to the ground. With her foot she hooked his knee, pulling him into a kneel. Rolling back onto her feet, she stabbed at him to keep him kneeling. She was never fast enough with swinging her sword, so she kept stabbing, which he met his shield. Bashing his shield into her sword point, she stumbled. Back on both feet, he swung, she barely got her shield up. Not feeling the sharp blade, her arm exploded in pain from the full force. Not able to hold it she dropped the shield, using her sword to parry all attacks. Exhausted, she felt the tip of his sword against her throat.

"Pathetic, you need to keep your shield."

"You broke my arm."

Justice's face instantly showed remorse, "Commander, I'm sorry. You're so fragile. Perhaps you should just focus on daggers?"

Neria healing herself, "You know Wardens learn all the weapons. You never know what will happen in the deep roads. If I'm out of mana, and only find a shield, I need to be able to use it."

"You'll just break your arm."

"Then I'll set a record for number of darkspawn killed with a broken arm."

Oghren interrupted by stomping over to her, "I don't want this kind of letter again. Take care of it Commander." The dwarf walked away, presumably to a drink.

She assumed, it was from Felsi, maybe she missed proofreading a letter Oghren wrote.

Oghren,

I hope you can help. Neria hasn't been replying to my personal letters anymore. Perhaps you can convince her respond, I love her dearly.

Alistair

"Was he drunk! Who writes a letter like this!" She wanted to tear it up, but she never tore any documentation up. She screamed, then she remembered she was in a courtyard filled with grey wardens and Amaranthine citizens. Who stared at her. Nathaniel walked up to her "Sounds like we have a lot of frustrating work to do. I'll bring a meal to your office so we can work and eat."

Neria waited in her study, growling and pacing. Occasionally shooting lightning bolts into the stone floor. Nathaniel's voice brought her back to the present. "If only the bolts came out of your eyes, you'd be what I expected."

"I still have to grow a few feet."

"Naturally, so will you tell me what happened."

"You know Alistair and I were romantically involved, when he realized he would become king he ended things with me."

"Yes, and you suggested that you'd be the mistress, something that is way beneath you."

"Well Alistair wrote me, actually writes me that he changed his mind. I responded to him twice, saying I will not be his mistress. I am the Warden Commander, my priorities is to end all blights and reduce Joining casualties. I cannot do this and maintain a lover which would require travel."

"You still love him?" Nathaniel asked.

"Not romantically, we ended the blight together. I'll always care for him, heed his counsel, and die for him if the situation demands."

"It's not okay that he wrote Oghren. Poor dwarf couldn't even drink. However, I do have a recommendation."

"Hmm?"

"Write him a letter, tell him you'll visit in two months. That will give him time to prepare a hero's welcome for you. You did save Amaranthine and probably Ferelden, from a crazy talking brood mother. Be friendly with his wife, she might be able to keep the King respectfully of your stance. Tell Alistair to his face the truth. I recommend you take me, Sigrun, and Velanna."

"Ander's in charge?"

"With Justice. Also depending, on how forceful the king is, you might want to consider pretending I'm your lover."

"Do you have a motive here?" Neria gave him a coy smile. He could see she was on the verge of laughing

"The decision is yours, write your letter. Sigrun promised to teach me how to pick dwarven locks, I'm heading her way."

Alistair receives Surana's letter

My King and Friend Alistair,

It has come to my attention that my previous letters you did not believe to be detailed enough, and require discussion. In two months from when you have received this letter (I've spelled it so I know the date when your hands break the seal) I will be visiting, along with 3 companions. Plan for whatever festivities you desire, my comrades and I will be prepared.

I am thrilled to see you, has been 6 months since I've seen my best friend. Give my regards to your wife, I'm excited to meet a woman strong enough to be by your side.

Warm regards,

Neria Surana.

PS. One of my comrades is a dalish elf, it would be nice if you could prepare a room for her with big windows. And I require an adjoining room for me and my 2nd in command.

Alistair thought that she laid on this whole friendship thing pretty thickly. The best part of loving her was her falling in love, it shouldn't be too hard to do it again.


	2. Chapter 2

_One month to go before traveling to Denerim_

Anders walked up to Surana, "I got a message from Avernus, he has something to report."

"Well then get Justice, I'll get Velanna, and with all our mystical knowledge hopefully we can understand."

It was pleasant to not run into darkspawn, she was grateful that the Architect kept his word. There was a demon, and a few bandits. Justice didn't even get to draw his sword. Anders was so quick to freeze them to death.

Velanna, "What did you ask this man to study anyways? You weren't interested in weaponizing the taint."

Neria cocked her head, "To make the Joining less dangerous."

They had arrived at Avernus's tower, They had passed a mass grave. Neria squeezed her staff, reminding herself that for the Wardens, that any sacrifice will be made. She heard Justice scoff, but was glad he held his tongue. She would have to debate with him at the later. That wasn't now though. They climbed the steps, surprised there weren't any traps.

Anders, "Well, why does anything ever decide to attack us these days?"

Velanna, "Because your fireballs are too small"

Anders, "How many times do I have to tell you, size doesn't matter!"

Velanna opened her mouth, but saw the man they came to meet.

"Wardens! Commander! Come. It would be useful to have samples of your blood, except the dead one."

Justice drawled, "How will I recover from the shame."

"You are a curious creature, studying you would be fun."

Neria, "Not why we are here."

"Yes, I wouldn't be able to anyways. I determined that the warden's survived because of an innate resistance to the taint. It's similar to how some people get the pox but others who come in contact do not. I suggest we vaccinate before the joining."

Neria raised an eyebrow, clearly she never heard of vaccination, mages just cured the pox.

Velanna, "I don't think becoming a Warden is a disease."

Avernus ignored her, "We have 4 new Wardens, from my trials, I sent them ahead to the keep. The success I had was to prick them with darkspawn blood 3 days before the joining, this raises success to 2 out of 3 people surviving. I only tested on 6 people. I would've waited, to do more testing, before reporting. I can't ignore the calling anymore. The notes on the table detail all of the research. Oh we also have a warden cat, I stole her from Anders a while ago. She lapped up some of the Joining potion. An accident, but a cute one."

"You stole my cat! I thought she ran away from all the fighting!"

"She is a very brave familiar, it was nice to have the company." Avernus closed his eyes, somehow seeming even older.

The Warden Commander, "Can you answer some questions?"

Justice did not wait for a response, "Did you keep the names of all you murdered, to get this research."

Avernus, "Yes, they are written in my notes. They are fallen comrades in my eyes. I did not sacrifice anyone whose name I did not know."

Anders smirked, "Don't give you name to strange mages."

"I should have had that carved onto my door. Any other questions?"

Neria, "What races and genders did you test on.

Avernus, "A multitude of rats, and a cat. Of the 6 strictly human males. I didn't have a time to introduce variables. We know diseases affect each of the races differently and poisons can affect women differently. The warden's records doesn't specify races, so I have no way of knowing if a particular race is more prone to surviving."

Anders, "Can we ask for Weistaupt to send us copies?"

Avernus, "No need, all my work, are in those packages. I never got rid of any documentation." He started rubbing his ears.

Justice looked at the old man, "I can sense the taint overcoming you."

Avernus looked at the corpse, "I would have enjoyed studying you. The Calling, when I ignored the dreams, I've started hearing music. It's uncomfortable."

Valenna, "We can walk you to the deep roads?"

Avernus, "No, I was the only recruit when I took the taint in. I will be alone when as I head out."

When the four started walking back. Justice started, "How many people did he kill for his research."

Neria was prepared, "less than those who died during the joining over the centuries. Less than those who would not have died if there were more wardens."

"The ends do not justify the means."

"If a hundred people had to die against their will so thousands over generations will live, I will make that sacrifice."

"You think you are justified?" Justice's hand was on his sword.

"No, I think I am wrong. I think about how Ostagar might've been different if we had more grey wardens. I think Lothering might not have been over ran. Who I am I to decide that a 100 men and women died by my order because I feel it will save so many more children, families, and soldiers, in the future."

Justice's face was unreadable. "I do not know what is right." Neria put her arms around her favorite animated corpse. "Everything is wrong, I'm wrong, the blight is wrong, the joining is wrong. I don't know how else to protect civilians."

Anders sighed, "Let's set up camp, it's been too long of a day."

After they had set up the tents and were eating. Valenna asked, "So we are still continuing Avernus's trials?"

Anders ventured, "We probably just vaccinate the 3 days prior to the joining. Keep track of who underwent vs who actually survived. If we improve greatly from the 30% success rate after say a year report to the First Warden. I don't think any of us have the expertise to try something different."

Justice, "Why don't warden document how many elves, dwarves, and humans enter their ranks?"

Neria, "The Grey take it pretty seriously that race and background does not matter. It's why rogues and warrior know how to use a multitude of weapons and mages have martial training as well"

Valenna, "It is fun to swing a maul that is taller than I am"

Anders laughed, "It's quite the sight"

"What does that mean?"

Justice ignored the two and looked to the warden commander, "How long will you be gone to Denerim?"

"A week at most, and it takes about 2 days to get there."

Anders, "I wish I was going to the big city, I miss the Pearl. There was a charming ship's captain, I'd like to see again."

Valenna, "I'd trade with you."

Neria, "No, those templars were ready to kill Anders. I don't want to tempt them. I'll need to go to Rivain at some point, Anders you can come with me then. Besides I'll probably need female back up, at Denerim."

Anders, "ooo right lover king."

"How does everyone know!"

Justice, "Male dwarves, it seems, are fond of telling tales."

Neria threw up her hands, "Good night, wardens."


	3. Chapter 3

She didn't noticed how much Denerim smelled, likely because there was so much darkspawn blood on her team. Now she was a Commander of the Grey and depending on who you ask, an arlessa. Sigrun was gaping at everything, she even pulled out her spyglass, Neria giggled promising her a purse of sovereigns to have fun in the market.

Alistair saw her, had she unaged? Well without the stress of an archdemon or sentient darkspawn why not? She carried the staff he gave her right after his coronation, probably not because she was sentimental, it was had amazing range and spellpower. She look at her companions, a Howe and two women. Maker, he hoped one of those women were her second in command, maybe the dwarf who turned her head widely to take in all the sights. The elfy woman hooked her arm through the Commander's arm. They looked like sisters, wait was that racist? Assuming two elven women were related. He promised himself not to voice this. He moved to Neria, hugging her to him.

She coughed, "Crus-hing" He immediately let her go. "Your majesty your armor isn't comfortable."

Alister gave her that goofy grin, "you can take it off."

Neria didn't even blink, "Your wife is the warrior, she would know how."

Nathaniel snorted and recovered his composure, "Your majesty, we appreciate your hospitality. It is pretty late in the day, we would like settle into our rooms."

"Of course, dinner will be in two hours. Do you want you need. Follow Raheh to your quarters."

Nathaniel, "Ajoining rooms?"

Neria, "You are Constable of the Grey in Ferelden."

"Just keep me updated on my duties," he flashed her a devious smirk.

"I'm worried you'd take it far."

"Before taking things to far I require sober, enthusiastic, and ongoing consent." She couldn't read Nathaniel.

She was about to ask him a question. When the door was knocked. It was Raheh gathering them for dinner. Sigrun looked ferocious with her facial tattoos and blue warden tunic and tights. Velanna had cut out fabric to expose her hips and sternum, she left the back alone to show the griffin embroidery. Neria was the only one to wear a skirt, under her tunic, fitting to her station.

Sigrun, "Commander, you don't look like a warden."

Neria raise a brow, "Except for the griffons embroidered into my skirt and back."

Nathaniel, "We have no other symbol than an extinct animal?"

Valenna, "It is a worthy obsession."

They entered an intimate dining room, Alistair wasn't there yet, but Elissa Cousland was. Surana knew she was suppose to be seated on Alistair's other hand, but decided to plop next to Elissa, grinning at the warrior. "Your highness, good evening." The young queen smiled. Alistair came in and was surprised that the wrong elven mage was seated next to him.

Instead of voicing his disappointment Alistair turned to Valenna, "How do you like your room? Neria has request large windows for you."

"I'm use to stone walls now, it's nice though."

Sigrun shifted uncomfortably, "Its strange not having Oghren here,"

Alistair, "I could sing loudly and swing a sword over my head. I'm a host willing to make the effort for your comfort."

Sigrun, "Oghren never swings his sword around."

Nathaniel, "At least not the one on his back."

Valenna, "Not after he cut your mother's painting, Nathaniel."

Nathaniel, "I paid him to do that."

Neria started laughing, "O and I forbade from from brandishing his sword in the keep again!"

Alistair smirked, during the blight he thought she'd never experience the comradery with the other Grey Wardens. Elissa watched her husband and turned to Neria.

"This Oghren, I would have loved to meet him. Alistair keeps telling me tales. Why did he not come?"

Nathaniel smiled, "He was put in a situation he shouldn't have been in, he deserved some rest." He noted the frown and glare coming from the king.

Neria, "Your highness you are welcome to the keep, its a bit rough. I'm certain you'd be fine though. I hear you're quite the warrior, Justice has been teaching me how to use a sword. It would be great to practice with you."

Elissa smiled, "I'd love to practice against a mage, I learned a few techniques. Without lyrium though, they aren't as useful. Tomorrow morning?"

Neria agreed. Nathaniel whispered in his commander's ear, "Getting comfortable with the wife, excellent mistress move." Neria glared and used force magic to drive his fork into the table, creating silence.

Alistair, "I miss the plate too sometimes, usually though when we were at camp."

Neria, somehow, managed to suppress giggles.

After a bit Elissa ended dinner, moving them into a different room. Alistair asked Neria to walk with him to his study, to discuss a private matter. Neria noticed, that Elissa didn't acknowledge this. Nathaniel, raised an eyebrow to which Neria shook her head. Alistair offered her a drink in his study.

"Remember the first time, and only time, I drank as a Warden?"

"You thought the Calling came for you and you started stumbling towards the deep roads."

"Unfortunate we were in Orzammar."

"I had to give you that blooming rose to distract you. You were really upset that it wasn't my weapon."

"Had to? Who else would you given that too? Morrigan?"

Alistair fidgeted with his cup. "Why did you change your mind?"

"You declined, I moved on, and embraced being a warden." She blinked, he was right in front of his hand in her hair. How did he move so fast? He pressed his mouth to hers, and she would have wept with the familiarity. It was too different, he smelled of sandwood and not the road. She could sense the taint within him, but not on his skin. He was perfectly clean shaven, not something he ever accomplished on his own. She turned away.

"I'm sorry Neria. I wish we ran away after the blight." His hand still in her hair.

"We couldn't let Anora become queen, just as we couldn't let an Orlesian warden lead Amaranthine. We both wanted the same things for Ferelden and the Grey wardens."

Alistair sighed, "I wouldn't have trusted anyone else."

"You're much less awkward."

"I'm a royal bastard afterall. You know I won't give up."

"You should, my preference will not change. At least just don't involve anyone else."

"You've hardened-"

"Hah! This is when Zev makes an offer to you."

"The wardens have ruined your adult mind. You've made me a stronger person."

"I know, same to you. I'm going to bed now."

"Is Nathaniel your first mate?"

"I don't run a ship. But yes."

"Adjoining rooms? Your reputation will be damaged."

"I was a circle mage from an Alienage, Nathaniel is the only one who might have a damaged image by being so close. Luckily he is a Howe." She left before the ex-templar, ex-warden could say anything else.


	4. Chapter 4

She knocked on Nathaniel's door, from her room. He was shirtless leaning against the door frame. She focused her eyes on his, refusing to scan his body "My Lady?"

"Could you unlace the back?"

"I'd be happy to undress you."

She turned around moving her hair out of the way, "I'm glad you never speak like this in front of others."

"I'm a private man, and you're my superior. Hey where did you get this scar?" He prodded at her low back.

"Fighting a brood mother, Morrigan pushed me out of the way to avoid being beheaded. I fell onto a fleshy sack that had a knife."

"Pesky darkspawn never putting their weapons away. How was your meeting with Alistair?"

"Turn around, I want to get out of these clothes and into some pjs."

She was facing him, Nathaniel grazed his hand down her neck, gripped her collar, knowing it'd be easy to slip it off. Blushing he offered, "I can help with getting the clothes off, but not getting into anything else."

She couldn't help but rake her eyes over him, it was a pleasant offer. He was always so fair, it was nice to see him flushed. "Please turn around, so I can change. I need you to be a friend right now." He released her clothing and turned around dutifully. When she told him she was decent, he was relieved they were shapeless, warm, flannel pajamas.

"So Alistair?"

"Just the whole, I moved on, blights are terrible, I wouldn't trust this country to anyone other than Alistair. He won't give up, but he won't involve anyone else again."

"Progress?"

"I hope so."

"You okay?"

"Yes, just sad that my duties might not allow the space for me to have a partner." Nathaniel, didn't have words. He always wanted to fight by her side, and it would be nice to have her legs wrapped around him. He simply wrapped his arms around her. Tucking her head under his chin. "Uh, you're still shirtless."

"You could be too, in case you wanted to match." She could hear him grinning

She pushed him away rolling her eyes, "Maker's Eye, go to bed."

In the morning Elissa knocked on her door, ready to go to the training grounds. Neria dropped off a coin purse for Sigrun, who decided to drag Velanna to the market. Something about hair jewelry for the pretty blonde hair.

"You're generous with your subordinates."

"Just Sigrun, she keeps saying she's dead anyways so she has not accepted a stipend."

"Dead?"

"Sigrun, is a member of the Legion of the Dead."

"How did she join the wardens?"

"That's Sigrun's story, I don't know how she would feel about a non warden knowing."

Elissa and Neria fought with wooden weapons. Elissa changed how the Elf held her weapon and how to redirect attacks. "Warden Commander, is Justice a large man?"

"Well yes. Also your highness I prefer if you called me Neria or Surana."

"Cousland is fine for you as well. You're much more slight, and you don't have the muscles of a warrior. You have to redirect blows, you can't take them on directly."

"Speaking of muscles, I don't think I can go on. Shall we switch to magic? You'll need to get a metal shield."

The Warden sent small fireballs her way. Cousland was smart in angling her shield, so the flames wouldn't roll into her face. Once confirmed the Cousland could handle it, Neria began to fight. Cousland lunge forward, her wrist grabbed and the lighting bolt sent directly into her arm. She bashed Neria with her shield, who fell. Neria kicked foot into the warrior's knee using winters grasp. Cousland fell on that knee, immediately all the pain went away, and she could tell the mage that injured her was healing her.

"How could I have defended against that?"

"You can't use templar powers, all you can do it make sure Alistair is always fighting with you, or a mage. I'd recommend getting all of your armor enchanted. I'm sure someone at Kinloch hold can help."

Elissa nodded, and waved at a servant to bring them lunch. Elissa was very quiet while eating.

Neria, "Cousland, are you still in pain? I can heal you further if you like?"

"No, I just. I'm fond of you, I thought I would hate you. I don't mind that my husband loves you, I understand in fact." Elissa refused to look at the other woman.

"What did Alistair tell you of me?"

"That you're brave and beautiful, you probably could have stopped the blight by yourself. He loves you, that you showed him what it means to be strong. He trusts you, blindly. You love him as well. That all he needs from me is an heir, and someone who could rule incase the calling takes him early. Other than Anora, I was pretty much the only other eligible ferelden noble for the next few years."

"Cousland, I do love Alistair. I did love him romantically, but that's over. I will not be having sex with him."

Elissa just stared for a few moments, "Are you, sure? Alistair, was so confident."

"He's kind of dumb in some ways."

Elissa laughed, "He does get to excited to listen sometimes."

Neria winked, "At least he wasn't dumb in _that_ way."

"Do I have you to thank for that."

"Not really, Alistair knows how to read the cues of battle." Giggling ensued.

Alistair came to their table, "W-What are you giggling about?" Neria smiled taking a drink from her cup.

Cousland, "Sex with you." Neria coughed, tea dribbling out of her nose.

"What's wrong with you women! Maker, I'm going to fight someone."

Neria wiping tears from her eyes, "Last time I told him I was giggling about darkspawn."

Cousland started laughing to the point she snorted. "It's too fun to fluster him though."

"Easy too. Anyway, so there is a ball tonight?"

"It's small, I don't like big events, I can get away with a comfortable dress at the smaller ones. I'd be utterly defenseless in a corset."

"Fair, I remember the celebration we had after defeating the mother. I fainted wearing a corset, while trying to cast a healing spell on a drunk warden who stabbed her hand."

"How?"

"Don't know, Justice came and got me and there was a hole in a hand. I came to and Valenna had cut me out of the thing."

"Do mages breath a lot?"

"I'd imagine like everyone else, constantly." There was a loud crash of metal. Neria turned to see the King and her Warden Constable fighting. She rarely saw Nathaniel with blades, he was agile. Alistair looked slow in comparison, but he blocked and attacked deliberately. Nathaniel grabbed the king's shield, and cut the leather thongs that kept it attached to the man arms. Alistair kicked the rogue squarely in the chest, knocking him to the ground pointing his sword at Nathaniel's throat. Alistair was about to gloat when he saw the man cough out blood. Neria was already there, undoing his leather armor, and ripping open his shirt. She was listening to his chest telling him to breath in, he coughed blood into her hair. She pressed both of her palms to the front of his chest, healing him.

"It looks like Alistair broke your rib, which cut your lung. You'll be find now. Let's get you to your room and clean you up."

Alistair, "I'm sorry. I'll send a servant with hot water."

"No need, I'm a mage I can make my own hot water." Neria and Nathaniel left.

Elissa, "Looks like she'll be getting him naked, did you see how she just ripped opened his shirt. Too bad he likely won't be up for anything though."

"Not true, I've broken my leg before, within minutes of her healing me I was fighting."

Elissa waggled her eyebrows, "So she is excellent with bones?"

"Maker, I'm surrounded by pervs."

"You know Neria, there are easier ways to get me naked."

"Will you shut up, I'm keeping my back to the tub. If you pass out do it loudly so I can save you."

"The king warden is quite the warrior."

"The Queen is as well."

"You thoroughly trounced her." Neria heard him splash around.

"How did you and Alistair start?"

"He seemed flustered, muttering about crazy women. Saw me practicing archery asked if I could fight melee, well I grabbed some daggers."

"How are you feeling?"

"You're not as good at healing as Anders. It doesn't hurt anymore."

"Then you won't be fainting, I'm leaving. I need a bath as well. Someone got blood in my hair"

"Remember than time you had a darkspawn nose in your hair?"

A bit later he heard her door swing open. "Sigrun! I'm bathing! Close the door! Did you just pick my lock?"

He heard the dwarf chatting a mile a minute, something about a brooch, and books on dark spawn. Neria laughed and asked questions, probably while still bathing. There was knock on commander's door. Alistair had announced himself.

"Your majesty, I'm a bit indecent right now can I meet you somewhere in a half hour."

"I've already seen everything, speaking to you now would be best. You know I'll forget"

"No longer appropriate."

"I've stitched up your butt before, when you and Morrigan were out of mana."

Sigrun giggled. Neria quietly asked the dwarf to set up the modesty screen and let the king in on her way out.

"A screen?"

"You know you stitched up my back."

"You inner thigh, your breast."

"I wasn't very good at healing yet."

"No judgement here, I thought you were incredible. Going from the cloistered life of circle mage to mass slaughter of darkspawn."

"Alistair stop trying sneak around the screen. Just because I'm toweling off doesn't mean I can be seduced."

"I'm trying to stumble into each other."

"Are you just rephrasing words of how you got me into your tent the first time? Get out or I'll electrocute you."

"I actually wanted to ask you about Avernus."

"Then lead with with that! Turn around, I'll use blood magic to make you respect that if I have to."

"I never liked that you learned it."

"Then you don't do blood magic. Ugh anyways what did you want to know."

Nathaniel knocked on the door, "I actually haven't heard much, about Avernus. May I come in?"

"Yes, Constable, I'm dressed," Neria told them what she knew, how the past month vaccinating potential wardens. How Avernus had to finally acknowledge his calling. "So far we have only 4 people who underwent. 3 of them survived. Oh and Ander's cat is a warden as well."

Alistair, "A cat?"

"Apparently is was an accident. She is incredible at sensing dark spawn."

Nathaniel, "Anders told me he was just getting better at."

Neria, "and you believe him? Wade even made a collar with a warden crest, you didn't notice?"

Alistair, "Not everyone likes cats as much as you Neria. So does vaccinating build up a resistance?"

"That was Avernus's hypothesis. I wish he trained someone, Velanna was able to make the most sense of his work. She's been wanted to travel to Orzammar to see the shaperate, maybe learn something."

Nathaniel, "That what she was talking about, is that why she wanted a sample of my blood? Don't know why she could not take it from herself?"

Alistair, "For whatever reason, Human male wardens are the standard. From what I learned from Wynne, when doing experiments your standard is what is most common. That is what you want to understand first"

Neria rolled her eyes, "For whatever reason? Human males are most comfortable around human males. That's why they are recruited more often."

"Then why did Duncan conscript you Neria?"

"He was saving me from becoming tranquil or murdered or something. I think he wanted to recruit Amell he was amazing at blending magic."

Nathaniel cleared his throat. "We probably should be getting ready for the ball."

Alistair, "Yes, Arl Eamon, is looking forward to see you."

When Alistair left, Nathaniel asked, "Are you sure you two were lovers? Other than the weird 'I'm naked don't look at me, stop trying to look at me' You two talk like Anders and I do."

"Are you telling me that you and Anders are intimate?"

Nathaniel glared at her, "See if I'll lace you up this time."

"You're better at undressing anyways."


	5. Chapter 5

Sigrun bounced into Neria room, with many mismatching ribbons in her hair. She decided to fit a cat brooch into Neria's bun. She thought it looked like Ser Pounce-a-lot.

"You know I'm just going to look like a cat lady mage?"

"It's a better look than abomination." Sigrun offered thoughtfully.

Velanna had let herself in, wearing proper robes with a griffon emblazoned on the front. "Is there a look worse than abomination?"

Sigrun, "Oghren losing a game of diamondback." Nathaniel could hear their peels of laughter.

He knocked on the door, Neria opened. "Makers Breath, you are beautiful." He heard Sigrun sigh longingly and Velanna cackle. He flushed, complemented Sigrun on her hair and Velanna on picking a good color.

They walked to the ballroom Sigrun mentioned she got a much better lock picking set for Nathaniel. Velanna hung back with him. "Between you and the commander, I believe, you are more experienced."

"I never said that."

"It's an observation."

"How is that important?"

"Anyone can see you two eye fucking each other."

"I don't think I'll call you a lady again."

"Good. Just she loves and cares easily. If you are going to be with each other make sure you are clear beforehand what either of you can and cannot expect from the other in the future."

"Sage advice."

Velanna snorted

They entered the ballroom there were maybe 40 guests all in all. Howe had certainly experienced bigger parties in his youth. He couldn't imagine Cousland or Alistair ever wanting anything extravagant. Their wedding was an intimate affair, the wardens were invited. They were to busy defending Amaranthine, though. The commander was swept into a hug by Arl Eamon.

"If it isn't the woman who saved my son! How is it being Arlessa now, my dear?"

"Eamon! I'm not an Arlessa, I'm a commander administering Warden property. How is Connor?"

"At Kinloch Hold, since the Circle is free I can visit him regularly. When he passes his harrowing he'll be able to travel to me."

"Is he still your heir?"

"I don't want to marry again, so yes he is. It'll be difficult, but I think it will work."

"I am sorry that I had to sacrifice your wife."

Eamon sighed, "She offered, she did more than I thought a mother could do for her child. We have a nice grave for her at Redcliffe, you should visit sometime." He clear his throat, "Hero of Ferelden go to Alistair. Open the ball."

The King and Hero were striking, him in a gold doublet her in a purple gown with silver griffons embroidered and cat brooch.

Alistair whispered, "You didn't know how to dance at the blight is over party."

Neria smiled, "I had Nathaniel teach me, he was a nobleman afterall."

"Was?"

"Nathaniel was conscripted, I made him renounce land and title, since I was charge of what was once his to inherit. He reminds me frequently that he is only a warden, I think he is proud."

The song was coming to an end the king spun her and dipped her.

Neria was claimed immediately by some other nobleman, she was never short a dance partner. Finally she gasped a no and found herself a drink and some snacks.

Elissa sidled up to her, "You dance like Howe."

"They have a style?"

"Hmm, they are just so intense and the women always tap their toes down at odd times."

"Nathaniel did teach me."

"It's very fitting for a warrior."

"How are you doing after our bout?"

"Oh fine, just not use to someone icing the blood in my knee."

"Winer, I once iced our ex-templar's crotch. I only cooled your blood"

"Was he having a difficult time in the tent?" Cousland couldn't help but giggle.

"He hadn't practiced much with a mage before, he asked me to, and accidently directed my ice attack to his nether regions." Neria was giggling.

"What are you two giggling about?" Alistair walked to them handing a drink to his wife.

Cousland, "uh darkspawn?"

"By the Maker do you two have anything more important to talk about?"

Neria fist on hips, "I'm a warden, darkspawn is very important." her effort to not laugh just made her body shake uncontrollably.

"Husband dear why don't we dance and discuss what body parts Neria has frozen on us."

Nathaniel finally caught up to her, "You've been a whirlwind."

"Funny I don't know that spell. Not much for weather magic"

"You're not very funny you know."

"You don't have a sense of humor. You look flushed, would you like to go to the balcony?" She took Nathaniel's arm leading him outside. "This party is overwhelming."

"Really it's quite small. You can go if you like, you dance with more than three people and spoke to the king and Arl Eamon."

"No I still need to dance with Teagan and you."

"Me?"

"Course you're the Constable. It's only proper."

He held out his hand,she took it, and he pulled her close. Swaying. "See dancing" She smile and rested her cheek against his chest. She notice him heating up considerably, maybe he has a fever? "Neria, feel free to tell me to go soak my head. I would like you ask you something. My timing is probably terrible. You don't have to answer immediately. Or ever, or-"

"Nathaniel, I won't be able to make any response if you don't ask. Did you want to find a family heirloom or something, since we are in Denerim?"

"No, but now that you mention it that would be nice. I wanted your permission to court you."

Neria couldn't help it, she stiffened, Nathaniel stepped back. He muttered an apology and turned to walk away, passing Alistair on his way out.

"Nathaniel, how is your lung? I didn't mean to break it."

"Fine, Commander here patched it up well."

Alistair looked at the Elf whose palm seemed glued to her forehead. "Wardens, so fickle."

"You'd know." Neria stated dryly

"Look at this you have King and now a Constable you could have your way with. Paralysis of choice?"

"Are you asking as the creepy man who wants to sex me up even though I keep saying no. Or are you asking as my best friend."

"Creepy Man."

"Then get lost in the twisted shite of the deep roads."

"Seriously though, as your ending-of-blight-helper, you want to talk?"

"I have a ex lover who will not take no for an answer. And a now a man who I thought was flirting with me like Zev would, was actually serious."

"I think Zevran was serious as well, but didn't mind you not taking it in. If it bothers you so much I'll stop, I'll write you letters with witty one liners, and ask for your help when I need. No more goopy stuff though"

"Thank you,"

"Nathaniel is crazy, probably should just ignore it. A cheese lover seems more your speed."

"Good night Alistair, say hello to Teagan for me."


	6. Chapter 6

**A quick note:**

 **Thank you Judy for your kind review. It is much appreciated.**

Neria had Valenna help her out of the dress. Wearing her flannel pjs, she knocked on the adjoining door. She waited a bit, and then knocked a little louder. No answer, she could hear him move around. She wondered if it was fair to ignore her. She began to undo her hair and take off her makeup, when the door opened. He smiled at her face being half done up. "Finish your nightly ritual."

"It's not really ritual I wear paint once every few months." She continued washing her face, of course noticing he was shirtless.

"Neria I'm sorry, I thought it was good moment, with the music and the stars."

"Actually you helped lead me to a conversation with Alistair so he'll drop this uncomfortable romantic pursuit."

"That's good, at least. If that's all…" Nathaniel scratch his head.

"No, it isn't. I'd like to court you as well."

"Women don't actually do the courting."

"Tough, if you're courting me then I'm courting you."

He gave her smirk, "A fair compromise. You still have Ser pounce a lot in your hair." he went to remove it, and then kiss her on the cheek. She misread, tilted her face so he landed on her mouth. He started chuckling. "Meant to kiss your cheek, not your lips." Before she could react he kissed her purposely on mouth. She wrapped her arms around his neck, lightly licking his lips. Pressing her tongue into his mouth, he gently nibbled and wrestled. He pulled away, "Before we get carried away."

"I'm sober and enthusiastic." She grinned. He pressed her intently against the wall, rolling his hips against hers. This elicited a gasp, and flannel leg wrapped around him.

He woke up in her bed, a very naked womanhood tickled his hip and leg thrown across his waist. He look up at the small window, dawn was probably two hours off. Shit it was good, to have her legs wrapped around him, to gasp her name, to feel her body pull him in. She nuzzled her nose into his neck, it was cold. He heard the lock being picked, Sigrun, he couldn't reach the blankets without waking Neria up. He pretended to be asleep, Sigrun is an adult. At least she'll learn to knock. Door opened, she squeaks and closed the door behind her, locking it.

"Whas goin on?"

"Just Sigrun picking your lock again."

"What!" She sat up.

"Are you upset?"

"Do not like that she saw you naked."

"Possessive?"

"Something happened or didn't happened to her. Not exactly sure. I'm pretty sure the only naked man she has had a good look at is Oghren, that doesn't exactly count."

"It doesn't?"

"I saw Oghren naked the 2nd day I met him."

"Oooo he waited."

"My point being its not special."

"Was Oghren the first male you've seen naked?"

"I lived in the circle where the apprentice dorm was mixed. I've seen a lot of genitalia. Regardless I should get ready and see what she wanted. Remember we have a formal dinner tonight. But I think we can snoop around the Arl of Denerim's estate a bit."

"This whole royalty guest thing is so drawn out. We need to get to the Architect"

"He will wait. He is oddly patient, until he isn't. I need to find Morrigan as well." She began to get up, she was pulled back bed pressed against a very handsome man.

"First I want to hear you call my name." gently rubbing her inner thighs.

She moaned, "Priorities."

At dawn, Neria knocked on Sigrun's door. Velanna opened, grinning like a cat. "Sigrun told me about how comfortable you were this morning."

Sigrun flushed "Good morning Commander."

"Did you need something Sigrun?"

"You seemed off when you left the ball. I wanted to see how you were feeling after some rest."

Velanna, "oh she seems a little sore, but cheerful."

Neria, "If that's all, I'll be getting some breakfast."

Sigrun shuffled, "Surana, you are okay though? Did he hurt you?"

Velanna's face fell, "Sigrun, why do you think it would be painful?"

"I don't know, just seemed like it would." Sigrun stared very intently at her feet.

Neria, smile. "You're always welcome to ask me questions, or mention concerns. No Nathaniel didn't hurt me. It has hurt some in the past, before I understood what felt right for me."

Velanna looked at the dwarf, "I thought it would always hurt. A templar cornered me once and continuously righteous strike me. I learned in time, that was not sex."

Sigrun gaped, "Shit, I thought Oghren's comments was the worst it gets."

Neria and Velanna cocked their heads. Then started laughing, "We wish." They finally headed for breakfast. Which they promptly saw Alistair with a plate piled high with cheese, surround by nobles he wasn't listening to...because cheese.

Teagan, "My my wardens these days are beautiful."

Velanna, "We also slay hordes of darkspawn. One human is nothing."

Neria, "My you need to eat, go fix a plate." She smiled painfully at Teagan, "My apologies for not greeting you last night."

Teagan smiled, "No need, Alistair mentioned you had a matter that needed immediate attention."

Neria, "How is your wife, Kaitlyn?"

"Busy with her Foundry of course. You best make yourself a plate before our King hoards all the cheese."

Neria sat next to Elissa, "Cousland could you steal some brie for me, there wasn't any left."

Dumping a chunk on her plate, "So I hear your little Constable, professed his undying love for you."

Neria snorted, "Nothing so grand, we agreed to court. Plus there is nothing little about it." giggling ensued.

"Every time with you women, what are you giggling about now. I know it isn't darkspawn!" Alistair narrowed his eyes at them.

"My Majesty, it's not about you this time."

Elissa, "We are giggling about Nathaniel now."

The rogue butted his head between the women, "What is there to giggle about me?"

Cousland didn't drop beat, "I was wondering how do you not burn, you are so light skinned. The idea of you wearing a sun hat made us giggle."

Alistair, "I promise that is not why they were giggling."

Eamon whispered in the King's ear, "Right, off too Kingly business. Elissa you'd be helpful in discussing with the Ternya of Gwaren in Elven rights and that incentive program."

Nathaniel annoyed, "discussing my prowess?"

"Not really she heard from Alistair a dramatization of our conversation last night. I told her we are courting, not that I really know what that involves. She called you little, I said you weren't."

"Hence giggling. For future reference, details of our intimate encounters should remain between us."

"Now isn't really the time to discuss boundaries."

"Fair. Is Sigrun alright?"

"I don't know, but my concerns are too private to share."

"You probably should speak to Bann Breanna. She is new to Rainesfere."

"Then we'll go to the Denerim estate."


	7. Chapter 7

Nathaniel, "These picks Sigrun gave are very good."

"I'm glad, she seemed very happy with her purchases. She said she bought something for everyone on our team."

"Even the cat?"

"Probably."

They walked silently, checking rooms. Nathaniel mention the King really should put someone here. Nathaniel found some of his mother's jewelry, that perhaps his sister would like. He also pocketed a ring for himself. Neria couldn't enter the torture chambers, mentioning last time she was there some Alienage elves were there. Nathaniel came back with a single dagger.

"My father's, I don't know if I should keep it."

"Keep it, if you don't want it you can always put it in the basement back home."

"Someone tried to clean it up, but it was gruesome wasn't it?"

The mage nodded. There was a long pause, Nathaniel watched her. She seemed uncomfortable, not ashamed or guilty.

"Does it bother you to be here?" Nathaniel took her hand.

"I murdered your father, I have your lands, I'm courting you. It's just beyond awkward."

Nathaniel gave a short laugh, "You killed a man who hired a terrible assassin to kill you. I have no lands, and your superiors could decide to relieve you of the position. We are not courting, we blew past that last night."

Neria gave him that cheeky grin she gave anyone who fell in her trap, "Technically, just I blew. Courting does not involve sex?" He rolled his eyes at her and walked to a library. She looked through some books, decided to take some on anatomy and poisons.

"Do you know nothing of courting?"

"I just assumed it was a more serious version of dalliances in the circle. Is it important to label it, or make sure we're falling into the label?"

"Not really, but I want to be clear on a few things. I'd like to be monogamous, just you and me."

"I agree, I'm not interested in getting or passing along someone else's diseases. Earlier you mentioned not discussing our sex life. I'm fine with this, the details belong only to us. However, as a honorary Arlessa, I do interact with women, usually about to be married, who are terrified at the prospect of sex. It is helpful, to draw from my own experiences to soothe them. I'm never graphic, it's usually a quick a sentence or two."

"If it's to help others and not gossip, I'm happy to be used as a positive example. Are we going to be public?"

"Not yet, let's see if this lasts. I won't be hiding it though. The Chamberlain I send my reports to, makes it clear that all Commander's of the Grey must report any paramours. So far we are dear friends and occasional lovers"

Nathaniel pulled her close. "It won't be occasional."

She palmed his face, "Don't you dare kiss me in the building I murdered your father."

Nathaniel chuckled, released her, and returned to the books.

At dinner, Neria was wearing a tunic, tights, and her Joining amulet. All of her warden's were dressed identically. Elissa had informed her it was a goodbye dinner for the Hero. The commander was relieved, she wanted to get back to Amaranthine maybe spend a day with some books, before returning to her duties.

Neria was sitting next to Alistair, he mentioned, "You look very Grey Wardeny tonight."

"That was the point, you nobles saw me as a lady, and now they are reminded of who I am."

"Speaking of your position, how is the city of Amaranthine. It was ransacked."

"Better, I sent a group of Warden to Brandel's reach to eliminate some pirates. Since then trade with Kirkwall has been going smoothly. I provided some incentives for Fereldens who want to come back and are skilled, so we have a population again. Really need a baker though, the bread is terrible."

So they chatted, she overheard Sigrun trying to explain Paragons to a Bann that didn't quite get it. She had braided more ribbons into her hair. Neria would have to plant the idea of braiding those ribbons into Anders hair, just cause. Nathaniel was explaining, again, that he was only a Warden. Neria worried about the rumors that might surface. She briefly caught the sight of Velanna, who decided to jump out of a window. Honestly how did she manage to do that discreetly.

They eventually ended dinner and moved to another room for drinks.

Sigrun had wondered out loud, "Why move to drink away from the snacks?"

A nobleman shrugged, "It's a bad habit we learned from the Orlesians."

Teagan had walked up to Nathaniel, "So I hear Wardens have been researching darkspawn, what is there to know other than to slay them?"

"Ser, it's a secret. I'm sure you've heard of the darkspawn who can talk. There is a lot more to them than we thought. Tell me do know what will happen to the denerim estate?"

"Eamon will be settling there eventually. He stays here in the castle for now. What do you ask?"

"No reason, it just seem deserted."

"Rendon left an ominous feeling to the place. Eamon isn't looking forward to living there."

Neria had butted in, "Its weird to hear Eamon's name without the Arl." She gave that disarming grin. It took Teagan a moment to pull his thoughts together.

Teagan fished, looking at her stomach, "Tell me Commander, why aren't you drinking?"

Neria laughed, "It just doesn't agree me since I became a Warden!"

Nathaniel, "Commander, we leave early tomorrow. I'm heading to bed." He smirked at her, making heat coil in her low stomach.

"Yes we do, let's say goodbye to the King and Queen first."

They each went to their separate rooms, Nathaniel rushed to the adjoining door. Just as he closed it, she slammed into him, grabbing him by the scruff of his collar, pulling him down for a kiss. He was surprised at her force, realizing his hands were on her hips pulled her tighter to him, cherishing the mewl that came from her throat. She broke their kiss the tip of her sharp ears flushed, and she gave him a shy smile. Was this really the same woman that just ran him into the door, if so, Maker he was done for. He pulled off his tunic, he was stopped from removing hers by her laughter.

"Do you hate wearing shirts? I swear, whenever you don't have to be armed, you try going shirtless."

"You always stared, and if it pleases the Commander."

Her ears went redder, "I did not!" She didn't realize he was slowing moving her to the bed, until the back of her legs hit it.

The group was walking back to Amaranthine. Sigrun grinned she was gifted a mule, because she had bought too much. She tried to braid some ribbons into his hair, but he was having none of it.

Velanna, "Leave the poor creature alone, not everyone likes their hair dressed up."

Sigrun bounced over, "Well I can put ribbons in your hair later! You'd be like a doll"

"Hmph, not the look I'm going for."

Nathaniel chuckled, "She has perfected grumpy, why waste the effort?"

Neria wasn't paying attention, and unintentionally agreed to ribbons.

Velanna walked to the other mage hooking her arm around Neria's arm, "You should pay attention to your surroundings, stray arrows and the like."

Neria smiled, "I was just thinking about Morrigan and her being pregnant with an old god."

"Oh, the bastard king's bastard"

Neria laughed, "never thought of it that way."

"I don't know much about the connection between darkspawn and the old gods. There were only 7 or 8 of them. Could we just force awakening them into archdemons? Make sure a grey warden is the closest."

Nathaniel caught up to them, "Hope the soul goes straight to the warden? Killing them?"

Sigrun, "I'd volunteer for the sacrifice."

Neria sighed, always sacrifice. "Its something to discuss with the Architect if we ever get the chance. I imagine he tried though, he did have a grey warden with him."

Velanna, "Do we even know where the old gods are located?"

Neria shook her head, realizing they were losing daylight she decided to have them set up camp. Nathaniel was showing Sigrun how to care for the mule. Velanna "borrowed" the man's bow and shot down a ram to make a stew. Neria had been quiet.

Finally Sigrun poked her, "Commander, what's on you mind?"

"I'm just worried Morrigan is by herself. She'd be over 7 months pregnant by now. I'd have thought she'd seek someone out. Sten had sent me a letter, asking about her."

"The Qunari? Why would he care?" Nathaniel was looking over bow.

"Other than him being having a narrow view of Mages. He seemed to trust her the most. I'm very tired, I'm going to head to my tent."

Velanna couldn't keep the teasing from her tone, "Constable, I'm sure she'll have important matters to discuss with you" Her face fell though seeing Neria swiftly button close her tent flaps.

Sigrun, "Is she okay?"

Nathaniel, "Morrigan has been a worry for her for a while. Closer that woman gets to 9 months, more our commander's interest in her seem to shift away from professional concern to personal."


	8. Chapter 8

When they arrived at the Keep, Justice was gone. Ander's said it was because Kristoff's body was too decayed, and his wife needed a body to mourn. He avoided eye contact, but there was a strange glint, and Ander's magic seemed more erratic in strength. He stopped going to the City, probably to avoid the Templars. When Neria spoke to Ander's there was sometimes a shadow of uncontrollable rage. Wanting revenge on Templars, not the Ander's she was use too. Startled out of her musings, there was a knock on her office door, a Warden scout. New, by the looks of vaccination scar on his wrist.

"Ma'am, when I reported to the Constable he said to come straight to you. I've seen a sparsely dressed, heavy pregnant woman, carrying a mage's stave has been seen near Warden Avernus's tower. She has black hair, her face is a little puffy, but she is quite the beauty."

"Avernus's tower?" The scout nodded. Neria grabbed her staff, and ran out the door. She ran, wishing she took a horse, or brought food, or something.

"Commander! You can be so rash!" Ander's rode up next to her holding a 2nd horse by the bridle. She pulled herself up, Anders shoved some jerky into her hands.

"Nathaniel, thought you could use a mage backup. What are we doing?"

"Chasing after a friend."

"Hopefully your friend is slow."

"A waddling pace" She pushed her horse into a trot. When they made it to the tower. She saw the raven hair women's back squatting over a cooking pot.

"I wondered if I would be having guests. You have talented scouts, my friend."

"Morrigan! How, why, when?"

"Dear, is this part of being a grey warden? Tsk, I'll miss the full sentences. As for how, I do have legs. Why, I'm unequipped to bear a child alone in the woods. When, well your scout spotted me the minute I let down my hood. Who is this charming man at your side, he's all Fade kissed and virile."

Anders, "I like her."

Morrigan, "He does seem like your taste, I'd hope you next lover would have been, less foolish."

Neria, "He isn't. He's a warden, and we were in the circle together."

"My mistake, wardens or circle mages never fraternize." Morrigan rolled her eyes for effect. "He is much like Wynne."

Neria blinked stared at Ander's comprehending that glint. She barely whispered a no. The male mage cleared his throat, "Will you being coming back to us to the keep?"

Morrigan, "Tis late. I suggest we camp here. You two can, of course, use the tower, but it makes my child flip." Morrigan noted the elf's gaze on her stomach, remembering right after that night with Alistair there was jealousy. No long it seems. After they had eaten, Anders had announced he'll be staying in the tower. He didn't say it, but he felt like he was intruding. He also wanted to avoid Neria after her realization about him and Justice.

Neria looked at Morrigan. "What have you been doing?"

"It is obvious, gestating." Morrigan sighed at the frowning elf, "I've explored the fade, the soul of the old god as my guide. Tiring work, I'll be glad when its out of me and no longer have the opportunity."

"Is there anything you wish to share?" Neria could see how tired the Witch of the wilds was.

"Not tonight. Tell me some gossip, sister. Something shameful and juicy."

"Well the king tried to get Oghren to assist in wooing me." Morrigan laughed making a comment of two idiots can't make a right. They chatted some, giggled more, until Neria fell silent. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever for?" Morrigan knew, of course she knew.

"When we left for to fight the archdemon, I left you behind. I resented that you carried Alistair baby, I didn't want to look at you."

"I won't stay if you still feel that way."

"No! I owe you so much. You saved his and my life. I was jealous, I thought that child should have been mine. That isn't my life to live, though. Besides, you're a dear friend, I want to be with you when you give birth."

"Thank you, you won't tell Alistair will you?"

"If you insist. We do have loyal Fereldens in the keep, I can't promise he won't find out. I can always help you disappear if you need. Maybe you should dress, less like Morrigan."

"It's so warm being pregnant." Morrigan sighed.

"Completely your choice. I'll be going to bed then."

"Wait my sister. Once you knew the difficulties of to grey wardens having a child, you dreamed of adopting. How is that, as you put it, not your life to live."

"The calling can come any time, 10 to 30 years. Less if I'm not lucky. It would be irresponsible to take on motherhood. Besides I am a mentor of several Wardens, a mother helping amaranthine grow and heal."

"Mentoring Wardens, Mothering a city. Are these excuses?"

"No, it's bigger than taking on a few children. It takes kindness, compassion, and love to do what I do. What else is a mother?"

"It is far more noble, than this country deserves."

Neria smiled, "The best mothers are more than anyone or anything deserves."

The next day when the arrived to the Keep. Nathaniel handed Morrigan a change of clothes, how did he just know? Ander's made himself scarce to delay the, inevitable, confrontation. Entering the great hall Oghren saw her and her stomach and gave that grin.

"Ugh, it's leering at me."

"So you and the Grey Warden huh?" Oghren did not suppress a snicker.

"I hope you mean Alistair."

"What do women see in him?"

Morrigan crossed her arms, "Whatever it is, it's obviously temporary." Then she smirked, "Are you jealous?"

"What of little Pike twirler?"

"He did have two of the most beautiful women in Ferelden?"

"Whoa, he had Leliana too?"

Neria saw the fireball form in Morrigan's hand. "Hey why don't you stay in my room? I'm never there, and the bed is fluffy. Before the witch could test dwarven magical resistance the Commander dragged her off. Sigrun yelled after them, saying she would bring food.

"Neria dear, don't tell me the reason you don't use your bed is because of work?"

"Not now, I left so suddenly yesterday. I need to get back to work. Sigrun will be here soon, she'll keep you company. Velanna is a dalish elf, and she has delivered children before. I'll be sure to send her you way."

"I'm not a child, I do not need to be watched."

"No, but you deserve to have some loyal faces near you. It's sounds like your pregnancy has been lonely"

"Loyal or not I throw fire at fools."

Neria pointed out her bookshelf to Morrigan, who made a comment about circle mages and their reading.

Shortly after, Nathaniel opened the door carrying a tray. "Excuse me, but I wasn't sure how you felt about dwarves, so I excused Sigrun."

Morrigan watched him set down the tray, "Lie, you're curious. You are?"

"Nathaniel, Warden Constable. Yes I'm curious, Neria has spoken most fondly and angrily of you."

"What you like to know, I'm as open as a grimoire defended by a dragon."

Nathaniel lip quirked, "Why was she angry at you?"

Morrigan shook her head, "You'll have to ask her."

"Was your mother really dragon?"

"Hah, no. She could shapeshift though."

"Were you there when Rendon Howe was slayed?"

She paused, looking at him, "I see the resemblance. No I wasn't there when your father was killed. Tell me what are you so curious about."

"She calls you Sister. I want to know what she considers family."

"I see, you want to get under robes."

"She didn't tell you?"

"Hah! I knew it she had a lover. She had that satisfied smile. You do seem to have that reckless kindness she adores."

Velanna knocked on the door and entered, a little surprised to see Nathaniel, but directed her attention to Morrigan. "I'm to check on Morrigan and her parasite's health."

Morrigan chuckled, "That is remarkably accurate." As Nathaniel moved to leave, Morrigan called after him, "She likes flowers, roses are a bit trite."


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey Judy, that's for continuing to leave reviews!**

Over the next few days it became clear Morrigan had only three kinds of relationships, trading barbs, trading death threats, and a very loving one. The only loving one was with Neria. Velanna could match her acidic tongue, Oghren seemed to always be heading out of the room, and Anders flirted. Nathaniel liked that she was in the Warden Commander's room though, rolling on top or under the circle mage every morning was something he had gotten use to. This morning though, she wasn't there. He found her in her office, speaking to Mistress Woolsey, worry etched into her young face.

Nathaniel cleared his throat, "Forgive me for not knocking. Is something wrong with the treasury?"

Woolsey simply looked to her Commander who spoke, "No, I had a personal problem, and I needed to consult with an older Warden." Woolsey just stood and left, saying this was too personal now.

"Are you okay Neria?"

"No, well yes. It depends on your perspective." Nathaniel sat down, looking at her intently. "I've missed my period, and I couldn't-."

Nathaniel vaulted over desk, sending papers flying and pulled her into her arms. Kissing her, "I did not want this, but I love you, and I will not fail you."

"Oh that was gallant. I started this wrong, I'm not pregnant, the taint has finally made me sterile. Woolsey was surprised it took almost a year, from the female wardens she has known over the years it happens within a month or two."

Nathaniel flushed, realizing his confession, clearing his throat, "OI guess that's why we never hear of Warden's becoming brood mothers."

"I had yet to connect those dots. I am glad it isn't something you wanted. I do care for you as well, I'm not at love yet. It would be appropriate to now report you're my Paramour. If that is okay to you."

"You don't need to be, I offer it unconditionally. Yes, um, report it. How do you know the difference between sterility and pregnancy?"

"It's something we learn as circle mages. I knew it immediately when Morrigan got pregnant. I had missed my cycle for a more that a week and I couldn't sense it. I knew it was difficult for Wardens to have children, and so I chose to ask the most senior Warden here about it."

"Better than writing Weisshaupt. Was children something you wanted?"

"I never had the option, so I never consider it. The circle would have taken it away, and then I became a Grey Warden. I know what I want though, and a child has no part in it. Knowing that it isn't an option to have one of my own, is a bit sad. I certainly will not miss my cycle."

Nathaniel chose to drop it and change topics, "When will we learn from Morrigan what she has to share?"

"After the child is born, she is still exploring and learning from the Fade. It would be best to have the more finished report vs hearing the changes over time."

"Also I have a report of rumors of a veteran Warden Blackwall. I'd like to have someone track him down, and bring him here."

Neria paused, "Woolsey mentioned his name before. Handsome guy who received silver wings. Offer an invitation, I won't order him to come. Tell whomever you send, probably not a warden there are too few, not to waste too much time looking. Don't post anything on a chantry board, I don't want imposters. I need to go, Anders is training some new Wardens, I think he'll need help."

She didn't make it to Anders, Captain Garevel stopped her.

"Warden Commander, King Alistair with a few Templars and Guards are about two hours away."

"What? We had no notice! Send Velanna, Anders, and Sigrun to my room. That is the order of importance. Then do you your best to prepare drinks and food. If you see Nathaniel, tell him about the King. Go!" Neria noticed Oghren. "Oghren! I need your help. When Alistair gets here distract him as long as possible."

"I have some of that overpriced swill you gave me"

Neria was already jogging away, "I trust you, Oghren!"

"Hmph, well she's desperate."

Velanna had caught up, "What's going on? Garevel just yelled at me to go to your room. I thought-"

"Alistair is coming with Templars,"

Velanna trotted a little faster, "How did he already find out about Morrigan?"

Sigrun was already in the room equally confused as the witch.

"Alistair is coming, you three are going to flee." Neria went to her trunk and pulled out a pack handing it to Morrigan. "I recommend somewhere between here and Highever. There are plenty of Inns. Cover your hair Morrigan and do not wear makeup. There is coin in here as well. Sigrun you are protecting them, when she is labor, Velanna and her will be fairly defenseless. There is also a missive from me, that you are looking for tomes on the Archdemon. This will allow you aid from any landowner with Allegiance to Ferelden."

Velanna hugged Neria, "I'll keep in contact with you in the Fade."

Morrigan, "Thank you Sister. Do you still have the Robe of the Witch Leliana gifted you?"

Neria's eyebrows furrowed, "This isn't the time."

"It's exactly the time, distract him. He's a fool, and was so occupied while you wore them that he was stabbed."

"Go, leave that to me." Neria pulled open a bookcase and her and Sigrun unlocked the dwarven door behind it allowing them to flee. When everything was put back in place she found Leliana's gift. Leliana purchased it when, she heard that Alistair refuse to go in the mage's tent. It didn't change Alistair's mind, but the looks she got from him made Neria feel better at the time. Pinching the bridge of her nose, hating herself for this. She heard a knock, Anders announce himself. "I need you to stay right where you are Anders. Changing she came out.

Anders cleared his throat, "Why did you change to inferior robes?"

"Alistair is here or will be soon. I need to be able to distract him, and you need to stay in my line of sight while those Maker forsaken templars are here."

"Morrigan?"

"Taken care of." Neria began to follow.

"I have an uncomfortable suggestion. Pull your breasts up, they might as well be making a valley."

"Here I am Commander of the Grey, using my body as a tactic." Neria followed the recommendation.

Nathaniel saw her, if he noticed what she was wearing, he didn't betray it. "Commander, I'm glad Anders fetched you. His Majesty is in the hall. Oghren has challenge him at his retinue to a round of diamond back."

Entering the hall, The king and his men were on their feet. The Templars noticed Anders, and their hands went to their hilts. The King laughed, "We're all friends here. Neria, we need to go to the circle, tomorrow."

Anders balled his fist, "She's a grey warden, there is no reason to bring templars!"

Alistair blinked rapidly, "I know she's a Warden. I started this wrong didn't I? Wynne was an advisor, she passed away yesterday morning."

Neria watched Alistair, he looked tired, and sad. Wynne was, gone. Before she could collect her thoughts. Anders gasped.

"No, she she. How did she?" His palms covered his face.

The King, "She mentioned you, saying that if a mage didn't belong in a circle it was Anders. She was found in her bed, died in her sleep. I sent her body ahead to the circle. We'll be heading to the funeral tomorrow morning, will you being joining us?"

Anders nodded, saying he'll be in his room. Neria felt fuzzy, Wynne could be a busybody, but she helped everyone see themselves a little bit better. Nathaniel put his arm around her, telling Garevel to take care of the King and his soldiers. And guided the Commander away. She didn't noticed when Nathaniel changed her into her night clothes, she was only aware of the buzzing in her brain. He thought this wasn't what he had in mind when he saw her in those witch's robes.

"Will you eat?"

"Not now."

"Was Wynne the woman, who asked us to find the mage in Wending wood?"

"Yes,"

"What was she like?"

"She greeted me in the circle. She taught me to write. I didn't have her much as a teacher after that. Anders did he was her apprentice. I she helped with the blight, and taught me much of healing magic during it."

"That tells me she's a good teacher, and probably intelligent. What did she mean to you."

"In the circle, not much. During the blight she was a voice of compassion. She challenge the idea I had that everything will be fine once we take care of the blight. She helped me find the balance between duty and happiness. That's its not actually a balance, its happiness is a priority if we want to be able to meet our responsibilities." Tears started streaking down her face. Nathaniel pulled her into his arms.

Oghren, "Hmph, thought the old dame would go in a fight."

Alistair, "I know, not with a blanket up to her chin. The night before she was ripping into me."

"What did you mess up this time Pike twirler?"

"Nothing Nothing, it's a bit personal."

"Ah I see don't want to start the rumor mill. I made up a new brew, I was going to send her a barrel, she always did have taste."

"Bring it to the circle."

"It's a plan"

"Perhaps I should check on Neria."

"King Warden, don't. She has Stoic with her. They are good for each other, don't turn it into nug sauce. Now I'm going off to bed, you gonna find your rooms?"

Garevel cleared his throat, "I will handle that Warden Oghren."

"Good, I'd have put them all in a barn."


	10. Chapter 10

Nathaniel wasn't sure if Neria would be able to stay on her toes, she was overwhelmed by the news yesterday. He hope it was shock and it was over. She grabbed a satchel from her trunk, one he never seen. She said to him that she hoped, Anders wouldn't need it. Those two mages were going to have to be aware of the templar's position at all times. Nathaniel, decided he couldn't control what would happen to them. He could help Velanna, who left with Morrigan, to make sure her rats remained fed.

The King, his guards, templars, and Wardens had loaded a small cart, heading to Kinloch hold. Alistair noticed Neria kept a small satchel on her at all times, frequently touching it. She also made sure she was in between Anders and templars. Anders made him and the Templars on edge, in a way no other mage has ever.

Neria pulled the King out of his mulling, "How is it you can use Templar powers without lyrium."

"I couldn't use them, until I became a Warden."

"The Taint?"

"I think so."

"The taint seems omnipotent at times."

"Did Avernus have insight into the taint? Well can anyone understand it?"

"Velanna, does a bit. Right now is just repeating some of his early experiments, to get a better understanding of his methods."

"Sounds like a lot of work, you think you will be conscripting another mage."

"Bad taste to do that during a funeral, not mention the circle is only just getting back on its feet. Later I will write to other circles, see if they have any mages who would be willing."

They trotted a bit more in silence, when Alistair decided, "Your mage, Anders. He makes the Templars jumpy."

The male mage was irked, "I'm right here you know."

Alistair ignored him, "Neria you are the only reason he hasn't been cut down. I suggest he shares your tent. The men wouldn't dare stab him in his sleep then."

"And what about me is so scary, the fact that I won't be in prison for a maker given gift!"

Neria, "This is an order Anders, shut up. Alistair, what is so scary?" She could feel Justice seeth.

"He's is cut off from the fade and connected to it at the same time. He has a strength of power to him that surpassed Wynne's. It make my Templar senses thrum, the only reason I'm not instinctively reaching for my sword is because I can sense he is a Warden.."

Neria was silent for a while, "Anders you should turn around, go back to the Keep."

"I will not hide. I will not be stopped saying goodbye to a mentor."

Alistair, "Is it worth your life?"

Anders raised his voice, "Me going to a funeral shouldn't be a risk!"

One of the templars half drew his sword, alarmed at Ander's emotions. Neria saw this she walk over to the Templar.

"You have no right, let go your sword."

"This mage is almost an abomination"

"This Warden is not under your jurisdiction."

"He is still a mage-"

The Commander formed a shield of ice bashing the templar to the ground. "A duel then for your insolence" She formed a sword of ice as well, she waited for templar to be back on his feet. He lunged, she rotated her upper body out of the blade's way, before he could cut down, she punched his arm, with a bit of force magic. He righteous striked her, but she had practiced with Warden Alistair hundreds of times, and only offered a small bubbled of Mana to be taken away. The Templar bashed her, and she allowed herself to fall into crouch, sweeping her leg out tripping the man. Standing again she stabbed the man through the shoulder.

"Anders heal him." she melted her shield and sword.

"I will not-"

"I did not stutter, I ordered." Turning to face the other Templars. "Anders is a healer, he would not survive if you all attacked him. I am a battlemage, I've slain templars, I will survive killing all three of you. Do not threaten my subordinate again, I will not allow him to put you back together." When Anders finished they continued walking on, Oghren sheathed giant hammer.

"Damn, I thought you were terrifying when you slayed the Archdemon."

"Hand me a flask Oghren."

When they camped that night, Anders pulled the commander aside, "I need to do something about Justice."

Neria looked at him, "Tonight reach out into the Fade, perhaps Morrigan would know more than me."

"I already have, she offered a method to weave Justice into my connection to the fade."

Neria thought about it, piecing together what she knew of spirits. "You wouldn't be able to know anymore where you begin and Justice ends. We can find a way to separate you two, find him a corpse again."

"I don't have that time, the weight of his Spirit is starting to sever my ties to the Fade."

"Tranquil or only Justice" Neria bit her hand, trying to prevent tears from coming out. The idea of Anders, a jokester, the insufferable flirt, the cat lover, not being those things anymore was to much.

Alistair and Oghren came over carrying bowls, the King looked at Neria and sighed. "It never ends does it. Here I thought we'd just be able to mourn Wynne. First thing tomorrow the Templars are heading back to Denerim, I shouldn't have brought them in the first place. I'm sorry." They had sat down to eat.

Oghren snorted, "Pike twirler, remember when Wynne had to sit you down and tell you where babies came from!"

Alistair flushed, "I knew, she just was a wicked old lady."

Neria laughed, "Did she really?"

Anders smiled, "The frail old lady act was just that, an act."

Oghren, "Hey sparkle fingers, you got to have good stories."

Anders grinned, "She always helped me with my pranks. One time there was hive, I caught all the bees and was going to release them in templar quarters. She taught me how to delay release them, so I wouldn't get stung."

Neria, "You should have seen Greagoir the next day. It was an excellent lesson in treating minor wounds for the apprentices. I was 8, he told me I had great bedside manor."

Anders, "Awe, did he give you a lollipop."

"Hush, if you weren't such an ass, you have noticed the templars there were very kind. Not at all what you hear at other circles."

"Other than no privacy."

Oghren ignored the ramped up mages, "Pike twirler."

"I have a name and I'm a king."

"Remember when Wynne, handed me that flimsy bit of metal."

"It was a razor Oghren."

"Why haven't you grown a beard, you're a warrior worth his salt. Bout time you look like it too."

"I like to catched my enemies off guard."

"Smarter than you sound."

"Its, smarter than you look." Alistair grinned at the dwarf.

"Nah, thought you were smart when I saw you. Then you spoke."

Neria was shoving blankets between her Anders, "Sod it, maybe you should sleep with Alistair."

"He's a king. If anyone is going to mistress rumors starting it's going to be about you."

"Just go to sleep you fool. So I can enter the fade."

Neria laid down forcing herself asleep and was in the fade, she saw Anders' thin and wavering connection, she'd another mage and some lyrium. She wondered briefly if she could use Ander's taint. Looking at Justice who seemed so blocked off, she wanted to talk to the spirit, but couldn't reach him. The spirit must be going crazy, if he could only communicate with Anders.

She sighed, decided to see if she could find Morrigan. Noting Alistair dreaming, but refused the urge to peek. She checked the Keep, the wilds, then finally Avernus's tower. She spotted Nathaniel who was simply dreaming. Not wanting to pry, she announced herself. He grinned at her.

"Isn't this wonderful, Avernus found a way to stop the calling!" He pulled her into his arms kissing her. He seemed a little taller, she noticed her clothing changed. Into the bloody robes she was wearing when she approached his prison cell, the first thing he saw her in.

"Nathaniel stop, this isn't a dream anymore."

"I know my dear, it's going to be real. We'll still be Wardens, but we won't succumb to the taint. We might die of old age." He kissed her again, his dreaming affected her, and she felt warmth coil between her thighs.

She sensed a desire demon whisper in her ear. "Neria, I could make him want you, in reality."

Breaking the kiss with Nathaniel, "We have a really dumb demon to slaughter."

It was incredibly weak, Nathaniel shot a single arrow at it and it died. "Was that actually a demon?"

Neria shrugged, "I think anything more intelligent knew I already had what I desired."

"This isn't a dream."

"No, I stumbled upon you while looking for Morrigan."

"About the calling-"

"Stop, you were dreaming. I intruded on private thoughts, it isn't my business. I'm going, I'll need to wake up soon." She left before he could he could say anything more. She was back at camp, shuddering at the idea of whatever the templars were dreaming. Alistair's dream seemed warm, cozy. Despite her better judgement she peeked. Alistair was sitting with two children, telling them a story as they snuggled in bed. She noted their perfectly human ears.

"Warden Surana, took my sword as I was laying in my and Sten's blood and cut off the archdemon's head!" The children squealed, asking if Sten was okay and wasn't he scarier that the archdemon. Alistair noticed her.

"I know not an appropriate bedtime story."

"Mom! Mom! Did you really slay the big dragon!"

Neria swore her stomach fell out of her body, "Mom?"

Alistair saw her confusion, "She had a long day at the shop, she can answer your questions when she stays home tomorrow." The kids disappeared from Alistair's dream. "Lots of customers at the cheese shop?"

"Mom?"

"I know they are adopted, but you love them that's obvious. It's only normal they call you mom."

Alistair's dream twined around her, and she saw. They ran away after the blight, with their looting of deep roads started a cheese shop somewhere, eventually adopted. Maybe without the cheese, she had dreamed this too with him. Talked about it in the middle of the night, with her limbs intertwined with Alistair's. Her chest hurt, now she had too many responsibilities. To many- she woke up in her tent, her back sprawled over Anders' stomach. With a great deal of effort and pain she managed to get out of the tent and stretch, sending bits of electricity to her knotted muscles to loosen them. She saw Alistair come out of his tent. He gave her that lopsided grin, which grew bigger when Ander's fell out, complaining loudly how the Commander bruised his ribs.

Without the templar's the traveling group relaxed. Alistair's guards, were friendly. Joking about their lives, and teasing one another. The were always alert though, ensuring the king was within their line of sight at all times.

Oghren sidled up to the Commander, "I won't be tossing myself your way."

Neria blinked a couple of times, "Excuse me?"

"I know all the male Wardens have been tossing themselves at you, didn't expect ol' sparkly fingers though. Thought you should know that Oghren here has more respect."

"Thank you, Oghren."

"I won't be telling Stoic, either. Don't think he shares well."

Neria flushed, "You know Anders only slept in my tent to avoid a templar stabbing."

"I don't want the kinky details. Just letting you know, I'm keeping my body to myself and my lips are sealed." Oghren walked ahead.

Alistair chuckled, "It's so much better when this stuff isn't directed at me."

"Sush, Oghren thinks I'm whoring myself out."

"I think the dwarf is just seeing it as you are in charge. A strong leader is desirable, man or woman." Neria glared at him to which Alistair scoffed, "Fine, your subordinate thinks you're easy for other Wardens. You're having a Noblewoman's party."

Neria smirked, "Damn strait."


	11. Chapter 11

When the group arrived to the circle. They saw the back of a redhead, trying to convince a templar to let her on the boat to the circle.

"Not until more have arrived. The boat is bigger than normal, due to it being a funeral. I can't keep going back and forth for each individual. Look behind you a small group has just arrived."

"Neria! Alistair!" Leliana pulled them into a hug. The bard noticed the Templar guarding the boat put his hand to his hilt. Anders saw as well, gently grabbed the Commander's elbow.

Leliana couldn't read Neria, she and Zevran trained her too well. The bard gushed "I heard you had a lover! I thought he was more roguish, its seems your tastes haven't changed much."

Alistair and Anders looked at each other briefly, both a little uncomfortable with the realization. Anders offered, "We do have great hair."

Settling into a room with Anders. "I'm surprised everyone has doors."

"The Circle is free. Come on, we don't have time. We need to find Irving, or were there any mages here that you could trust with this."

Anders looked at his Commander, "You really don't like that people think we are" he wiggled his eyebrows.

"I'd hate it if you became tranquil. You dying wouldn't worry me so much right now." Grabbing him, she dragged him out. Only to bump into Zevran.

"My dear, I'm rather fond of this bumping."

"Zev! I'd love to chat. I'm glad you're here. I need to find the First enchanter."

"Zevran, actually brought me to you." Irving stepped forward.

Anders looked really confused, "How did you know?"

"While I would love to brag to a Warden again. Now is not the time."

Back in the room, Anders explained his situation.

Irving, "My boy, if we weave Justice into your tether to the fade. It might not help, and then you might not be able to tell when Justice ends and you start."

"I don't have long."

Irving sighed, "I can tell, lay down my boy, we are rushed. Zevran, perhaps it would be best if you stay outside distract any templars curious enough to want in." Once the assassin was gone, Irving pulled out a pouch of lyrium.

Neria, "You were prepared."

Irving drawing a circle around Anders, "Whenever Anders came back, I had to be. I even set you up in a room with an escape route."

Anders, "Huh, I thought I just made that up"

Weaving took time, it became hard to tell who was who anymore. They knew they were done when a ripple of mana echoed through the circle.

"Shit," Irving drained a lyrium potion. Lifting a stone from a floor revealing a ladder. Neria tied a satchel to his waist, saying it had everything he needed to get to Kirkwall. Even a map to the deep roads. They heard the templars kicking down doors, trying to find the source. Neria saw Irving's hand come up forcing her against the wall, her head cracked against something and she faintly heard Irving yell at the templars saying Anders fled. Zevran was saying something about a bird. Everything blurred to black.

Alistair had rushed in, it smelled lightly of lyrium. There wasn't any to be seen though. What he could see was blood on the wall, and Neria slumped. He checked her skull, neck, and back. Nothing seemed broken. A mage entered the room, scanning over her. They laid her on her stomach so the healer could work.

Zevran leaned against the door, "Alistair, for our favorite Warden's sake, head to the knight commander's office. Be angry, be enraged."

By the time the King got to the closed door. He noted it was locked, "Oh these doors have locks!" Greagoir had opened the door. "Your majesty."

"What happened to the Hero of Ferelden." Alistair seethed

Irving answered him, "Anders, became an abomination, and attacked her."

Alistair confused, "No, he wouldn't"

Greagoir, "I don't know much of your templar training. When a mage is possessed, he ceases to be the man you knew. It appears Neria, threw some lyrium at the problem, trying to bring him back. Useless, but I can't fault her trying."

Irving frowned, "I'm just glad, I came by to greet them. Neria was already on the ground. Anders, or what had been him shape shifted into a bird."

Alistair, "No. Something else had to have happened."

Greagoir, "Do you know if the healer we sent made it?" Alistair nodded dumbly. "I'll send the rest of her friends to her. Go, when she wakes up she'll need a friendly face."

Neria opened her eyes. Her head hurt, but it was resting in Leliana's lap. "What happened?"

Oghren from outside the door, "Commander's awake?"

Zevran, "Yes you brave little guard."

Oghren snorted, "Just keep your pants wear I can see them." A pair of pants was thrown on him. Oghren charged in, hammer drawn, eyes ablazed, and noting that Zevran still had his clothes on.

Alistair handed Zevran a few coins, "Well earned, my friend."

"I'll take your coin, but there is no satisfaction."

"As funny as this is, what happened?" Neria was sitting up now.

Oghren, "Last thing you remember Commander?"

Leliana, "Don't, we are being watched. Irving wished for you to go to his office, when you can."

Alistair picked the little elf up. "And not to talk to anyone else. Look dazed."

After they had walked out, Leliana sighed, "They do look lovely together."

Zevran, "Could you imagine the Queen and Hero of Ferelden sharing? Besides didn't you think it was her and that mage?"

"No, something was wrong. I didn't want anyone else to raise an eye. Besides I'm told she has been sleeping with a rogue."

"I have been a good influence then."

"Eagh"

When Alistair set Neria down, "Irving what happened, the last I remember was you using force magic to ram me into the wall."

"My dear, I didn't mean to make you hit your head, I'm sorry. I needed to establish that you couldn't be blamed. That ripple Anders sent out was…" Irving groped for words.

Alistair, "It felt like a possession, similar to Uldred."

"I told the Knight Commander. That Anders was possessed, attacked you, I came in it and attacked him. He shape shifted, and flew out. Zevran attested to a bird flying out.

"How did you explain the lyrium?"

"It was all burnt away, you could only smell it. Greagoir assessed, you used it to try to bring Anders back. He doted on you, when you were small, he wants to believe that."

There was a knock on the door, Irving allowed him in.

"Miss Surana, how are you feeling?" Greagoir placed a gloved hand on her shoulder.

"I little sore, but fine."

"I'm sorry for Anders. He was always, difficult. I was glad he joined you as a Grey Warden, but I was wrong when I thought it would be good for him. Can you answer a few questions?"

Neria had echoed what Irving had said. "As far as why, he was so sad to hear of Wynne's death. And he was angry that the Templars that were traveling with us were watching us so. His majesty was kind enough to send them back to Denerim. He just-" Neria bit her tongue, she wanted to rage that she had to lie. Luckily it was taken as sorrow.

"I have enough, I'll write a report. You won't need to do anything more. I'm sorry this happened so soon after we lost Wynne." Greagoir squeezed her shoulder.

Alistair walked her back to her room, where everyone was waiting for her. Alistair couldn't help but ask, "What was your relationship with Greagoir?"

"I came to the circle very young, to young to start classes. All the apprentices were at least 3 years older than me, so I was lonely. Wynne saw me only a couple hours in the day. Jowan, would read to me before i fell asleep. Greagoir allowed me to follow him around most of the time. He'd play games with me, sneak me sweets, and he'd braid my hair in the morning."

Leliana, "So he was like a dad?"

Neria grimaced, "No I had a dad. Greagoir was more like a brother, helping out."

"You look so tired my dear, perhaps you could use a rest." Zevran grabbed Alistair and Oghren on the way out.

Leliana, "Would you like to be alone?"

"Please stay."

Neria had arose early. Leliana was still asleep, and someone had fixed the door. The funeral would be soon. Neria had changed.

"Warden, my friend. Why are you wearing white?"

"Circle mages do for funerals."

"I did not know." Leliana stared at her black dress.

"Don't worry, mages do this for mages. Could you braid my hair"

On the stone roof Wynne was on a funeral pyre. Dress in white and a shear cloth covering her face. The enchanters circled around closest to the pyre, inviting Neria into the circle. Grasping hands they chanted:

 _The Light shall lead her safely  
Through the paths of this world, and into the next.  
For she who trusts in the Maker, fire is her water.  
As the moth sees light and goes toward flame,  
She should see fire and go towards Light.  
The Veil holds no uncertainty for her,  
And she will know no fear of death, for the Maker  
Shall be her beacon and her stave_

The chanters cast fire onto the pyre. Watching Wynne slowly turn to ash. After a while some of the mages began to go downstairs, to start preparing food. Neria turned to her friends tears running down her face. She handed her kerchief to Oghren.

"The ol' dame was something." Blowing his nose.

Zevran, "even to the end her bosom was magical"

Alistair, "We're at a funeral."

Leliana, "It's true, I asked if she had advice."

Neria,"And?"

Leliana, "She told me to do things I enjoy, not for bragging, because it brought me joy. Even if my chest doesn't hold up, at least I would have lived a lovely life."

Oghren blowing his nose harder, "I'll be going to my room. All this smoke is messing with my eyes."

Neria gripped his shoulder, "I'll bring you some ale, later. I would want to hear some of your stories."

Neria had left her friends in the dining hall, saying she should help in the kitchens. Zevran checked in on her seeing her focus on operating multiple knives and mixing a pot with her magic.

"This, my dear, is a wonderful use of your magic. Why did you not do this at camp? It would've been entertaining."

One of the knives had clattered, "Zevran, I was, I don't know, nervous."

"A handsome elf gazing at you, made you nervous?" His lip twitched.

A mage tossed a carrot at him, yelling at him to stop distracting them. Before he could make another remark, he saw ice forming threatening on the mage's hand. The assassin chose to saunter away.

An apprentice sidled up to Neria, "Thank you."

"For? O Connor!" All of her knives clattered.

The boy giggled, letting her get the knives going again and he began to stir the pot. "I just wanted to say thank you for saving Redcliff from me."

"Of course, I'm sorry about your mother."

"I hated you, but if you left for lyrium, I would've hurt more."

"I hated me for making that decision, as well. How are you liking the circle?"

"I like it, I wish being a mage meant I didn't have to become an Arl. Dad thinks I'll be a great Arl."

"Why don't you want to be?"

"I bathed my home in blood. I don't want to look at those people, who don't have loved ones anymore because of me."

Neria finished dicing, poured the vegetables into the pot. "Connor, that is precisely why you have to lead."

"No, them looking at me seeing me as a murderer," She made eye contact with another mage, who took over the pot. She picked the 10 year old up, with a healthy assistance of magic. Hold him close and moving him to another room. He was sobbing, she let him for a while, holding him close. When he calmed down a bit she spoke.

"Young man, without a proper mage to guide you, you were tricked and misled by a demon. Your mother's life was to give you a 2nd chance, to mend something that was terribly broken. Redcliff will never be the same, you will never be the same."

"I can't give lives back."

"That is correct. The hardest and most complicated amends adults have to make are the ones you cannot undo what was done."

"I'm not an adult, though."

Neria pulled him tighter to her, "For a lot of us childhood ends early. You don't have to make amends now or the near future. Rely on your teachers, navigate the fade, and simply learn."

"I can do that." Connor pulled away.

"Don't forget to pull a few pranks here or there. Adults get to have fun." When Connor wandered off, Neria rested her face in her hands.

Alistair spoke, "He'll be okay you know."

Neria, "It almost makes me regret that I asked for the circle to be free."

"Almost?"

"Well, the doors are nice." She smiled weakly.

"Were you one whose childhood ended early?"

"You already know that answer. The only glimmer I had of it was the first few years at the circle."

"Before?"

"You know I was in an Alienage, you guessed at what happened. I think I'll go to the hall, see what everyone is saying about Wynne."

Zevran saw her and patted his lap. Neria squished in between Leliana and Zevran.

Leliana, "Why did you go cook? You're an Arlessa."

"I was a mage first." a pair of mages sitting across from them moved, seeing the King.

"You didn't- well thank you." Alistair plopped down. Right when food was served.

Zevran, stabbing into a variety of meats and fruit. "Neria my dear, can you explain the white?"

"Not really, I never asked. I didn't know it wasn't what everyone did until I left the circle. In some tomes they describe the importance of color to magic. White is a symbol of purity, and respect."

Alistair, "Purity? That certainly didn't apply to Wynne, suggesting I'd wake up beside her."

Neria, "Alistair! We are at her funeral. Have some shame"

Flabbergasted, "Shame, you three were talking about her chesticles." Flushing, he noticed the Neria couldn't school her face, her lips twitched in a smirk. "Woman, you are just as bad as Morrigan at times."

Zevran, "Alas she never dressed like Morrigan." the assassin sighed dramatically.

Leliana, "There were those robes I gave to you!"

Alistair flushed, "Neria was wearing those when I came to bring her here."

Leliana, "Who were you trying to seduce?" she arched a perfectly red eyebrow.

Neria shook her head "No one! I just missed you."

Leliana spotted the lie, "You don't fool me, you were probably role playing."

Zevran chuckled, "Apostate and templar?"

The day wore on to night, Neria brought Oghren a plate and some mead. Trading stories for a bit. When Neria headed back to her room, she saw Leliana leading a flushed mage somewhere. Smirking the Commander entered her room, her face fell. Alistair was passed out on her bed. She thought about waking him, but didn't want to deal with whatever this was. Should she go sleep in his bed, that could be weird if he came back. As a commander stealing an Apprentice bunk, wasn't appropriate. Annoyed, she used a bit of electricity to wake him.

"Ah Ah! Neria, what!?"

"What are you doing in my bed." Neria's arms were crossed.

"Hmm? Oh, I fell asleep." He noted her angry stance. "It, does look bad."

"Just go Alistair,"

Unfazed, "Are you okay? It's been a long day. Being a chanter for Wynne's funeral, soothing Connor, being back in this Circle."

"It's hard to not see so many mages. Uldred's rebellion cost so many lives." Neria sat next Alistair. Who put an arm around her shoulder. "You don't have to give me the official line."

Neria looked up at him, "I was in the kitchens, it was my favorite room. It was only a quarter full. The woman who taught me to control multiple knives at once, is gone. The man who taught me how to peel a pomegranate is gone. Even during funerals, there was much chatter. This circle is empty, it lost something."

Alistair, "Its terrible, I can't imagine seeing your home change like this."

Neria tears dripping down her face, "Alistair, I'm tired. Could you please leave, we can talk more on the way home tomorrow."

He stood, "Of course." He handed her a kerchief. "I could stay-" he voice trailed off.

Neria took the kerchief, watched Alistair, unable to identify intent. "Do you even know what you're offering?"

He grabbed her hand. "Wynne died, after we disagreed, in my castle. I was yelling my last words at her. I don't want to be alone in my shame."

She watched how his jaw clenched, and how he held her hand lightly. She moved to a cabinets, pulling out some blankets, laying them out on the floor. "You take the bed, I'll sleep on the floor. Talk to me as long as you like."


	12. Chapter 12

A few days later Alistair was about to leave Neria back at her keep. "Eamon has learned we share a birthday."

"We don't have too."

"He thought the Wardens hosting a party, would be a good way for the nobles to see that the Wardens are an asset."

"You wait till now to say anything! We just walked two 2 days joking about what pranks we can play on your guards."

"It's embarrassingly weird to have a joint birthday party with your best friend as an adult."

Neria laughed "How old are we?"

"We'll be 20 this year."

"Oh that is old. I've focused my efforts on the city and farmland. The Keep will be ready though, in time. If you could send some skilled masons and carpenters that would be appreciated."

Nathaniel pulling her into his arms, kissing her he could taste her sorrow.

"How are- Where is Anders? Oghren?"

Tears were rolling down her face, "Oghren went to Orzammar. Anders, fled. Officially he became an abomination. Really I weaved him and Justice together, the templars caught on, Ander's fled to Kirkwall."

"Stroud will probably run into him."

"I wished a more senior member would have stayed longer, but he was passing through." They were walking back inside, Wardens greeting them. A scout approached, clearly wearing road dirt.

"Commander, I found Warden Blackwall rather easily. He thanks you for the invitation, he'll start sending recruits here, he prefers solitude though."

"Oh what was he like?"

"Bearded, deep voice, seemed confident with a sword." The non warden Scout shrugged.

Nathaniel, "Thank you scout, I'm sure Garevel will find you quarters and a meal. Please Commander, I need to give you a report."

Nathaniel pulled her in his room, pulling her tight to him. Kissing her.

"Stop please," She was she still pressed against him. She told him about Alistair sharing her room and her sleeping on the floor, they would be hearing rumors soon. She also told him about the birthday party in few months.

Nathaniel let her go, "What a coincidence you and Alistair sharing a birthday."

"No its not. We visited the Alienage in Denerim, and found my father. He wanted something in exchange for my birth date. Something unacceptable, Alistair became angry and punched him. Alistair and I are close enough in age, he decided he would share his with me."

Nathaniel confused, "Why wouldn't your father just tell you the date?"

Neria buried her face into his chest her voice small, "its been a long few days. I just want a bath and a bed."

The Constable was startled, he never heard her sound frail. He tightened his arms around her, noticing for the first time how slight she was, she didn't even come up to his chin. She pulled away from, he knew she needed to cry long and hard, but not in front of him. Maybe in front of someone she considered family.

"Morrigan is in your room her saying her labor is coming early. I have a few errands, if you'd rather have a bath here."

"I'll see Morrigan, and decide."

"Neria!" Morrigan had waddled over. "Oh you smell! I took the liberty of filling your bath, you may want to reheat it."

"Why would you come back before you knew if it was safe."

"I can elude Alistair. Giving birth on the forest floor, isn't ideal. It is coming early."

Neria had slipped into the bath, "Very."

"How are you feeling right now?"

"Warm"

"Fine, Evade. See if I care."

Neria spilled about Wynne's funeral, Ander's escape. She sobbed in her bathtub. Morrigan had the sense not to touch the elf, something else had rose up, and would easily lash out.

"Didn't tell Nathaniel about your father?"

"It's to humiliating."

"The shame is his not yours. Alistair, Zevran, and myself can make the inference, have you ever spoken of it?" Neria was silent, "Tis your choice. You already know it lines your bones."

Neria had toweled off and dressed.

"Flannel is not a good look for you."

"Shut up and let me go to sleep."

Morrigan raised an eyebrow, "What friends I have."

The next day Neria began her rounds. Sigrun was working with a new merchant, consulting for him how to prevent thievery.

"Nathaniel had me set a rate. Its low, I don't see what wrong with me volunteering my time."

Neria tilted her head, "Amaranthine, is recovering. We need to start recouping our treasury."

"I don't like charging someone for stealing things from them, and then telling 'em how I stole from them."

Neria laughed, "It is odd. You're not really stealing though."

"You're right commander, anyways I got to go steal from him."

Velanna and Morrigan were with the experiment rats. Ser pounce a lot sniffing Morrigan's belly. Neria raised her eyebrow.

Morrigan shrugged, "Likely confused at the nature of my pregnancy."

Velanna, "Better than growling at my rats."

Neria was watching the rats, "Some of them are Wardens? Is this possible?"

Velanna, "Depends on what you consider a Warden. They'll turn into ghouls eventually. I don't know how fast though, I just started."

Neria was about to decide to leave them too it, when Morrigan. "I'm no longer able to travel the fade with my child."

Neria raised an eyebrow, "Should we be concerned?"

"No, the soul now is too rooted in the child. I can give a report."

"Tonight we'll meet in my study, we will let Nathaniel and Sigrun know."

Neria finished brainstorming with Garevel the necessary repairs needed. She'll have to ask Nathaniel's help for order of importance. She spent some time with her fellow warden's, all fairly new. After some eating and training. She spend the rest of her day in her study, reviewing documents from various minor nobles. Disputes and the like, she'll need to hold another high court. Slowly Morrigan, Velanna, Nathaniel, Sigrun, and Woolsey came in.

"Woolsey?" Neria raised an eyebrow.

Velanna, "She is the most experienced Warden here."

Neria nodded, "Shall we begin?"

Morrigan, "The soul of the old god showed me around the fade, histories that no one remembers. Even in the fade there is no such thing as objective truth, What I saw was the reflection of Urthemiel."

Sigrun, "Urthemiel?"

Woolsey, "The Old god that was tainted for the most recent blight."

Morrigan, "We saw that the blackness, the taint, in the black city didn't originate in the fade. The world was in a never ending blight. Darkspawn and no unifying leader, it was simply chaos. Humans, Elves, Dwarves, Qunari, only did their best to survive. Finally a group of elven mages learned how to gather the taint, it took generations. Finally 8 mages, whom we now now as the Old gods gathered the taint."

Neria, "How did they gather it?"

"My guide, does not speak, and can only bring me to places with images. I couldn't sense what was happening, but there seemed to be talismans pulling in the taint. Once it was gathered, they used a great deal of the taint to tear open the fade. Launching themselves and the remaining taint in. Between the 8 of them they locked it away, but each were a lock and key to hold it back. Making it their home and calling it the golden city."

Nathaniel, "Where is the Maker?"

"Not where I was looking. Thousands of years had past, the Old gods forgotten, a group of mages came."

Velanna, "Magisters."

"They might have all been Tevinter, but they were of multiple races. They crushed the old gods casting them down, then the taint rushed out transforming the invading mages. Some looked similar to the image of the Architect Velanna had shown me, but not the same. This is all I know after this was Urthemiels sleeping."

Neria, "Thank you, I wonder why the taint didn't cover the world again?"

Velanna, "They used the power of it to rip open the fade, that would have use up a lot of it."

Morrigan, "It is still locked or controled some because of the old gods existence. The taint when released, first met the invader mages, they would have some influence as well."

Sigrun, "Assuming that the magisters are dead, so don't use their influence, when the other 3 die we will just have unbridled taint roaming?"

Nathaniel, "If that's the case, we need significantly more sentient darkspawn, if only to avoid horde massacres."

Velanna, "The Architect mentioned, that his process is similar to joinings. Perhaps there is a way to do a mass joining?" Velanna looked at Neria for approval, who nodded.

Sigrun, "Mass joining? Are you going to be throwing a bunch up blood at people?"

Velanna, "I think Avernus mentioned in his notes, I'll need to review."

Neria, "Do you need any assistance?"

Velanna, "You and I are the only Warden mages. We need more."


	13. Chapter 13

_A few months later and a few day before Neria's and Alistair's birthday._

Nathaniel woke up, rolled over to be faced with a sleeping Ser Pounce A Lot. Now that Anders was gone, the cat decided to make Neria's room her home. He was glad Morrigan and her child were gone as well, Neria's bed was much more comfortable. Scratching the cats face and noticing indeed the collar had the Grey Warden crest. He heard Neria fumble with the door before coming in.

Setting a tray down next to him, "I had hope you would still be asleep."

Nathaniel, seeing an omelet, toasted bread, and jam. "You brought me breakfast in bed."

Her ears flushed, "I wanted to do something grand. This was the best I could think of."

Nathaniel taking a bite of the omelet, "It tastes grand."

She smiled, "I love you."

He looked at her, taking the moment in and was distracted, "Are you wearing my shirt?"

"Yes. I look better in it." She seemed startled at his response.

"The Commander of the Grey, went to the kitchens to fetch me breakfast, wearing only her lover's shirt."

"I cooked your meal, other than the bread. I'm also wearing slippers." She laid down next to Sir Pounce a lot, who crawled onto her chest.

Nathaniel continued to eat. "You know I'll need my shirt back, to get back to my room"

Neria, "Oh? I thought you like walking around shirtless."

Nathaniel, "I love you, and how you stare."

Neria blurted, "I think you should move in here!" Her ears flushed.

Nathaniel was shocked, his mouth a bit thick. Neria spoke again, "Think on it, even if you don't want to I still would want to be with you."

Nathaniel feeling as naked as he was, "I will."

Neria met Garevel. "Ma'am we have a bit of a problem. The citizens of Amaranthine want to throw a party for you on your birthday."

"How is this a problem?"

"We'll be hosting a ball, you wouldn't be able to go."

"Why don't we invite the citizens to the courtyard? We have the gardens to offer the nobles some privacy. I can spend some time with the citizens that way. It would be good for them to see the king as well."

Garevel, "The nobles will be ruffled, but King Maric did do something similar for his birthday."

"Run it by our resident expert on nobility. How are the King's cooks taking to our kitchens?"

"They fuss at how small it is, but they say it will suffice. Apparently we didn't buy enough cheese."

"There is never enough for our King, his cheese needs expand to meet what is available. Is there anything else?"

"No, Commander." Garevel lingered.

"Apparently there is something." Neria stated dryly.

"There was a rumor, that Nathaniel will be moving his things to you suite."

Neria crossed her arms, "My I'm impressed, you heard anything. Nothing is decided yet, how is it your concern?"

Looking at her directly in the eyes. "You are seen as an Arlessa. While as a Hero, and a Commander taking a lover is acceptable. Living with a man that isn't your husband, may be seen as dishonorable. I would not like the Commander of the Grey to be viewed in such a inaccurate way."

Neria sighed, "I appreciate you bringing this to my attention. What would you recommend?"

"It depends on what you two plan for the future. He is your Constable, he attends in your place or standing next to you on many occasions. He always stands, as is right, before you move in together perhaps he should be seated next to you."

Neria, "Don't spouses do that?"

Garevel, "As a second in command and a paramour. See how the nobles react and the citizens. Perhaps go drinking and dancing together in the city. Have people love the idea of you two being together. Then move in, you'll less likely to be shunned as a fallen woman that way."

"I'll think about, but leave please."

"I understand, I have had my fill of awkward as well." Garevel bowed slightly and left. Which Nathaniel was standing right outside.

"You were eavesdropping."

"It involved me so not truly."

"Do you have an opinion?"

"Drinking and dancing? We aren't some young couple."

"We're in our 20's, so yeah we are."

"I'm 30."

"I'm 19." Awkward and uncomfortable silence.

"You're pulling one over me?" Nathaniel was hopeful.

"I was born in 9:10 dragon, I don't know the exact date. So I might technically be 20. Does age matter?"

"I guess not, we'll probably die from the calling in a few decades. It's strange you're so mature for your age"

Neria laughed, "Let's not get into that. As far as moving in together, is there anything you want to discuss or are you still thinking."

"I'm thinking. I never thought to having this option. My father was suppose to arrange something, an Antivan I think."

"I never thought I would either." Clearing her throat, "Did you over hear Garevel's and my decision on having the citizens celebrate in the courtyard."

"It is a good idea, I'll speak to Garevel, and check the gardens."

"Right can't have the nobles seeing regular ol' citizens." Neria rolled her eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

The ball was a large event. Neria had refused to wear a corset, she wore something similar to mages robes, but the gown flowed more. Alistair and her spent some time with the citizens dancing and swinging between partners. Alistair noticed a familiar looking man, an elf. One of his guards distracted the King, saying he should be going inside to greet some nobles. The King told his guard to inform Neria, they should be opening the ball soon.

Nathaniel saw Alistair come in without the Commander, whispering in the King's ear, "Where is she."

"My guard is fetching her."

"Something isn't right, she is always watching your back. She would have seen you come in."

Alistair looked at Constable, "Go get her then. She probably is just enjoying herself."

Nathaniel noticed her from behind, her back seemed overly straight. Putting his arm around her waist, he heard some young women giggle. He saw the Elven man she was speaking to.

"Who is this, darling?" the elf said to smoothly. "You don't even write to me to say who has your affections." He moved to brush her hair, she flinched.

"Neria, we are needed inside." Nathaniel raised his free arm in suspicious way, signaling a Grey Warden guard.

Neria opened her mouth, then closed it and nodded. Nathaniel guided her back inside, appreciating the Grey Warden distracting the elven man while slowly moving him away from the festivities.

Back inside Alistair saw how small she looked, the last time he saw her like that was in the Alienage. It dawned on him who that familiar man was, and mentally kicked himself. Elissa noticed how startled Neria seemed, approached her.

"The nobles are getting a bit restless. Perhaps you and Nathaniel, Alistair and myself should open the ball at once. Can you do this Neria?"

Neria, in her small voice, "It was supposed to be the birthday people."

Elissa, "Damn supposes. Besides you and Nathaniel paint such a lovely picture." The queen motioned to the Orchestra who started, she grabbed her husband and pulled him into a waltz. Nathaniel did the same for Neria, when he noticed a curt nod from the Warden. "The man you were speaking to early, he has been gently ushered him into a prison cell. We can deal with him tomorrow."

Neria spoke in a tiny voice her eyes watery, "My father is in prison."

Nathaniel was at a loss, hoping the song lasts longer. She probably shouldn't be making decisions right now. This wasn't the woman he was used to, this was a woman who had been beaten down by something. "We will rectify the situation in the morning. For now let us dance, and enjoy your birthday." At the end of the song Nathaniel gave her a kiss, cupping her face to wipe away the tears.

Oghren, bless him was right there to take Neria hands. It wasn't quite a dance, they pretty much traversed the ballroom walking sideways. Oghren occasionally yelling, Neria laughing. Then Alistair, then Arl Eamon, and then Elissa who had some people chuckling. Neria was back in her guise of Noble woman, socializing and disarming everyone with her smile.

Alistair speaking to Nathaniel, "Do you think we could kill him while he is in prison?"

Nathaniel gaped, "Sure he is an ass. Who really withholds a birthdate from their child. That doesn't justify murder."

Alistair looked at him, brows furrowed, "She never told you what he asked for in exchange or how she alerted the templars to her powers?"

Nathaniel, uncomfortable. "No."

"Don't take it personally I think she would have kept her silence forever if she didn't see the bastard. The repairs have gone very nicely on this place, though I suppose once you clean off the blood everything looks better."

Nathaniel, grateful for the topic change, "Yes thank you for the stonemasons, we couldn't have been ready for this without them."

"Neria and I should stop outside in the courtyard again, but I'm hesit-" Alistair suddenly couldn't hear anything, expect for an eerie sound, it was beautiful. He suddenly wanted to bite into someone's flesh. Nathaniel shook him.

"You heard too your majesty?"

"Wait-you heard the calling too?"

"Look."

Alistair saw every grey warden silent, eyes wide with worry. Neria whispered hastily to Elissa and Garevel. Then she rose her hand to silence the orchestra, "Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you so much for your attendance here celebrating our King's and my birthday here in Amaranthine. I would like to apologize, a grave Warden matter has arised so unexpectedly. While we must take our, extremely, rude exit please consider Sir Garevel and Her Highness your hosts. Grey Wardens to the basement."

The Wardens inspected the area, to see if there were any unwanted ears. Nathaniel informed the commander that the guards were still at their posts. There were only 20 Warden's in the basement.

Neria whispered to Velanna, "Any ideas."

She shook her head, "The calling was so flitting, its nothing like what Avernus had documented."

Woolsey rubbing her neck, "I hate being the most senior Warden. Velanna is right the calling doesn't come in short bursts affecting multiple Wardens at once."

Neria drawled, "What fun."

Ser Pounce a lot growled and ran off deeper into the basement. One of the more sensitive Wardens mentioned darkspawn.

Neria called out, "we are all armed. Decide if you are sober enough to fight."

Nathaniel muttered, "You aren't armed."

"I am a weapon." electricity flowing over her knuckles.

Alistair, picking up a spare shield. Drawing his sword. "This is a trap you know."

Neria, "More than likely it's the Architect knocking on the door."

Alistair, "Doesn't he know making people think they are going to die, is a rude way to announce yourself."

Nathaniel, "When have darkspawn followed social etiquette."


	15. Chapter 15

Arriving at the dwarven locked door. There was a neat knocking. Unlocking and opening door, she wasn't surprised to see the Architect. Neria, "Sheath your weapons! Greetings."

"My apologies, it wasn't my intention to bring on the Calling. I merely meant to whisper along your taint, I did not consider how new it is in most of you."

Alistair, "Excellent birthday present. Next year you'll murder a dog and put it Neria's bed."

The Architect looked at the Commander, "I cannot tell if he is serious."

Neria smiled, "It is my birthday. The _Warden_ here was joking about the dog." She shot him a glare.

"If today is a celebration, perhaps I should knock tomorrow."

Neria pondered, "Warden's remember what was experienced tonight, is a Grey Warden secret. You may go upstairs while I confer with out ally. Nathaniel and Velanna, I'd appreciate it if you stayed." Neria noticed Velanna embracing her sister. While the Wardens were leaving Alistair pulled her aside.

"Why don't you want him to know I'm King" Alistair whispered.

"I'm being cautious, he probably guessed though. Look at how you're dressed."

"I'm staying. The idea of leaving you for the Calling was too much."

"Fine stay, pick a fake name."

"Logain?" Alistair smiled.

"Only if you're going to run yourself through as well."

Neria turned to the Architect. "What brings you here?"

He handed her an envelope. "Some of my brethren, have found a settlement of dwarves far west, past the lands of Orlais. I've given you a map with the specifics. They can cure the taint, avoid becoming ghoul, when they take in darkspawn blood. They recently helped a human female who was dying from it after fighting darkspawn. They of course, attack me and mine, Serrani has had no luck in getting them to trust her. I believe you should go."

"Me? I'd probably delegate." Neria crossed her arms.

"That is your prerogative. These dwarves have been cloistered for hundreds of years. I would recommend sending someone who could understand the complexities of the taint and the body. Also someone who is persuasive."

Neria thought about it, Sigrun would probably go. She looked at Velanna, who was holding hands with her sister. "You're going to go with the Architect."

Velanna nodded, "I'm sorry, I just-"

"Don't be, I understand." Neria embraced her.

Architect, "This is all I have for you. It appears I'll be leaving you with less than I intended."

When the Architect left, Neria sighed. "Fuck."

Nathaniel heard the music outside, "You both should make another round in the courtyard, and in the main hall."

Alistair, "It feels so late."

Nathaniel said stiffly, "'ll give you both a moment. I'll be outdoors."

When Nathaniel left, Alistair grabbed her hands. "Then end to the calling?!"

"It might be nothing. It might be the rest of my life chasing after a promise of a cure."

"Wouldn't you send someone."

"They only other person I would trust to understand, is Velanna. I'll probably stop at Weistaupt and explain. The Architect is right someone needs to go who is persuasive."

"I can't do this without you."

Neria ignored him, "We never know when the calling will come. You'll need to find an heir. Or have Elissa have sex with another man, preferably blonde"

"Now you sound like Wynne."

Neria looked at him, squeezing his hands. "Is this what you two discussed?"

Alistair dropped her hands, "The night before she died. I don't mind Elissa sleeping with someone else, just someone sitting on the throne that isn't of my blood." Alistair groped for words.

"You and I had discussed adopting." Neria offered.

"It wasn't discussing, it was dreaming, besides It's different when a throne is involved"

"We can agree that Cailan was a fool. Anora was the better leader of the two of them. Blood isn't everything, you can raise a child to be a good ruler. If they aren't, you can teach them to rely on others, as you do."

"I'll think on it, let's go."

Nathaniel was waiting outside, his jaw tight. Neria told Alistair to go on ahead, she pulled Nathaniel into an embrace. "Before I realized everyone heard the calling, I was scared I wouldn't be able to wake next to you anymore."

The rogue held her tightly, "Or hear your laugh."

The Elf smiled into his chest, "Or hear your dry comebacks."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Is Alistair, always going to be a big part of your life?"

"Yes," Neria pull back enough too look in his eyes.

"I will never ask this again, but I need to hear it once. Will you tell me if you develop romantic feelings for him again?"

"I will."

"Let's go then, your people await."

She stumbled in her room, Neria figured she could get a few hours rest. When there was a knock on her door.

"Nathaniel?" I thought you were going to try to sleep a little by yourself?" She noticed his fist was grabbing something

"You'll be leaving soon to find the cure." It wasn't a question "I wanted to ask you something." He was flushed.

Neria smiled, "If you really want to come, there is a new Warden, I think I would trust to be in charge. Provided he leaned heavily on Garevel and Woolsey."

Nathaniel shook his head, "We can discuss who later, I would like a back up. No I'll be staying here. You make the most useful assumptions."

"Are you going to ask, or can I start seducing you?" Neria looked him up and down, with that hungry gaze that would make his stomach flip.

"You're making this hard?"

She feigned a sweet smile, "Just the question or anything else."

He thrusted a box into her hand, she opened it. It contained a gold necklace with a sapphire as the pendant. "It's lovely. Is this a birthday present?"

"No, I actually didn't get you one. I'm realizing how shity it is to do this right after your party."

"Well you started," Neria raised an eyebrow.

"My father, and his father, and his father, and-"

"I get it, it goes a long way back"

"It's a proposal necklace. I know rings are more fashionable-"

"Are you asking me to marry you?"

"Yes."

Neria's ears and face flushed, he tried to remember if he ever seen her face blush. "How do I accept, is there a proper way?"

They bother started laughing, "Surana, you put it on." He watched her fumble with the clasp, but she managed.

"I don't want to wait, at all. I'll probably be gone for years." Neria looked at him.

"We do have the Amaranthine Mother here. I can send a runner for my sister. We could have our wedding in the afternoon."

"Were you planning this?"

"I would've had my sister already here. Is this a bit fast?"

"We've spent the last few months saving each other lives and trusting one another unwaveringly. I knew we were going to be beside each for the rest of our lives since we escaped the Architect lair in the Wending woods."

Nathaniel pulled her into a kiss. "We don't have much time, You ask the chantry mother. I'll send a runner and speak to the cooks."

Neria placed her ear against the revered mother's door, and heard rustling. So the Elf knocked, when the mother opened the door, "Commander? I was just preparing to leave, do you need anything?"

"I'm sorry to put you out, but I would like to ask a favor."

"Of course, my dear. What can I do for you."

"Nathaniel, proposed. Given my duties, I may need to be away for a long time in a week or two. So we would like it if you would marry us this afternoon, here in the keep."

"My dear, it's a bit unusual, you are an elf and is a human. You've not known each other long."

"Long enough to save Amaranthine, to fight new and weird darkspawn,-"

"Enough dear, for you two the length of time is unimportant. You are Wardens first, I do not believe race matters too much. It would be joyous to marry your two."

Neria grinned, "Thank you!" Leaving the mother, she skipped down the hall alerting Sigrun and Oghren to wear something nice. Oghren muttering he did yesterday. She bumped into Alistair.

"Oh Neria, I wondered if you wanted to deal with your father in the-"

"Big NOPE. Anyways, I'm getting married today. Would you like to be my best man?"

"That's a healthy response. You know you are suppose to have a maid of honor?"

"Okay, would you like to be my maid of honor?"

"I walked into that one, of course it would be an honor."


	16. Chapter 16

**This is the last chapter, it's been a ride. I appreciate the positive reviews.**

 **Some may want to just not read it. It involves a confrontation of incest/childhood rape. It isn't graphic.**

Nathaniel, wished Anders and Velanna were there. His sister was his best man, she was heavily pregnant and barely made it in time. Honestly he was surprised she could drop everything so quickly. He managed to take a quick bath, and wore his finest armor, Wade had pried off the Howe crest and replaced it with a Warden's. He saw Neria, wearing a light blue dress. It didn't quite match her skin well, she obviously used magic to shorten the hem and bring in the chest. Then he remembered the queen wore it last night, and gifted it to Neria. It did showcase the necklace nicely. His sister kicked him.

The Mother, "Nathaniel your vows."

He flushed, "I swear unto the Maker and Holy Andraste to love this Warden for the rest of my days."

Neria press a ring into his hand, then he placed it on her finger, it was loose. Then he felt the ring get smaller and the metal got thicker as she use magic to make it fit. "I swear unto the Maker and Holy Andraste to this Warden for the rest of my days." She place a ring on his finger, and used magic to make it fit.

The mother, "By the Maker, Neria Surana and Nathaniel Howe you are married."

There was applause.

It wasn't a big party, most everyone was ready to leave and hung over. Alistair sat down next to the married couple, "I don't want to bring this up today. Your father is in prison, if you want to deal with him while I'm here, it needs to be today."

Neria's smile faded. She didn't want to think about this ever. She nodded, taking Nathaniel's hand. "Could you both come with me."

Going into the prison, Nathaniel dismissed the guards. Her father stood up, "I hear congratulations are in order. I'm sure it was a mix up of some sort, that you would let your father sit in jail, rather than give you away." Alistair growled, "Hmph, Neria call this dog of yours to heel."

Neria touched Alistair's arm, "I don't even remember your name. You were Pa to me when the templars came."

"When you burned me, I had to go to the chantry for medical help. But I forgive you dear daughter, you didn't know you were a mage."

Neria dug her nails into her palm. "Forgive me! You know what cause me to burn you." Nathaniel saw lightning crackled around her fists.

"You were a child, you didn't know or understand your powers."

Neria struck him with lighting, Nathaniel moved to stop her, Alistair grabbed him. "I was a child! I was trying to protect myself."

"There was no need then. You know better now, don't hit me again." She struck him again with lighting.

"There was no need, tell me what were you doing then."

"You're mighty brave on the other side of the cell."

She struck him with lighting again, "Say it."

"You're hurting me." he pleaded.

"Funny I said that to you plenty before the templars saved me." She shocked him again. "You kept going then, so I won't offer mercy now." she hit him again.

Nathaniel's stomach dropped. He thought he was going to be sick. "You're own daughter?"

Her father laying on the ground, looked at him. "You should have seen her back then. She grew up so fast, her mother was gone, what was I too do?" Nathaniel's gaped.

Neria covered her face, "Its done, I won't ever have loving memories of you. I won't kill you, but I won't let you hurt any other child again. You'll remain here."

Alistair, "We could have him moved to Denerim prisons."

Neria, "Perhaps."

Her father, "You can't do this! I only did as my right."

Nathaniel, "We can, and we are."

After they left, the King informed the wardens, "This man has committed heinous crimes against a child-"

"Children," Neria interrupted.

Alistair didn't miss a beat, "He is a criminal in Ferelden. He shall remain in prison."

Nathaniel, "He is also mentally unstable, be careful."

Warden stiffened, a little concerned that these 3 wanted 1 elf in prison.

Heading back inside, Alistair mentioned, no one would be slighted if the newly married couple didn't say goodbye. Nathaniel picked her up carried her up, to the cheering of whomever remained in the hall.

Setting her down in her, I mean their, room. Neria looked at him sadly, "I'm sorry I didn't explain, before we got married."

"I knew who I was marrying. I guessed, anyways, still shocking. Who was the other child?"

"My older brother, he killed himself. If I wasn't pulled away, I'd probably-" Neria started crying. Nathaniel, pulled off his armor, as quickly as he could. Laid in bed, grateful that she crawled into his arms and sobbed. His new wife weeped ugly tears, of what she held back for years. Ser Pounce a lot perched on her hip purring. Nathaniel whispered that she is safe here.

In the wrong world of Blights, Joinings, and Callings. She had a safe place to rest, with her husband and her cat.


End file.
